a month later and im still hurting so bad
Well its been just about a month since my ex of 2 years dumped me and the pain is just so unreal,i know a month isnt that long but i thought it would have got a little easier,but its got worse. I suppose im half to blame though because my ex has kept constant contact since we split,99% of the time she was the 1 to txt or call me 1st,ive only responded,sometimes ive ignored it as i was hurting too much.
Most the calls and txts have been general chit chat but they always end in arguments because we always ended up talking about our relationship. The other night i was really drunk and replied to her txts and they was nasty,i felt better after but only for that night. Yesterday was the 1st time we spoke properly since i sent them nasty txts and things seemed ok,like a fool i asked if she wanted to come for a coffee or something and she said she wants to see me and misses me but its porbably best we dont see each other and would let me know later on. In the end she didnt come but we still txt each other,i asked if she thought it would be worth a shot in giving in 1 try to save our 2 year relationship,she was saying stuff like i dont think it will work etc,so we left it at that. She then said its upto me if we stay friends or not and i just said i dont know because im hurting too much.
During these 4 weeks she has been pretty hot and cold with me,shes said things from i love and miss u,to things like lets be friends,Even sometimes we would be talkign and she would get snappy at me for no reason.
Our 2 year relationship was great,not many arguments etc,holidays,days out,the lot,then that 1 day she said she wasnt happy and it broke me.
Ive asked her if theres anyone else,she says no,she just wasnt happy,even though up until that day she dumped me she was normal. I really am hurting so bad and ive tried everything to get over her,from drinking with my friends to NC,tried being friendly etc,nothing has worked.
I know deep down it really is over between us,but why always contact me then go cold after a while,it hurts me. I do love her and want her back but i know its never going to happen now. i hardly slept last night and when i did fall to sleep i dreamt about her with another guy,so u can imagine how im feeling right now,and ive not heard anything from her today. grrr,think i need to give my head a shake.