Feeling like my life is falling apart
Hi,
I'm 23 years old and in February me and my girlfriend will be together for 3 years. (she is the same age as me)
One of her distant friends asked me for help in a mental situation that I passed a long time ago and we started a friendship relationship, but last weekend we set at her place and we started to kiss.(she is 19 years old)
I love my girlfriend, but I do have strong feelings for that other girl.
In the last month me and my gf have fought twice in situation that she said she wanted to break up and then said sorry and she was just seeking for attention also I asked her for a weekend off to think on things on my side but I decide I wanted to stay together (this happened before I kissed the other girl), we have small fights which now feels like every day, I can positively say I still love her and I did in the past saw a future with her, we wanted to move south in the country to live together while I study there and we did thought on marriage in the 2-3 years from now.
My gf get stressed from a lot of things and upset really easily.
The other girl is sweet , we have a lot of things in common and I have a lot of fun to talk to her (sometimes I feel like being with my gf for an hour or two and go sit with my friends), she is cool and relaxed most of the time and she is right now only stressed with what I will choose.
In the last week it feels hard for me to say I love you to my gf although I do love her, just because what that happened, I feel like a son of a bitch and I hate myself.
I don't know what to do, I'm afraid that if I will choose one of them I will making a mistake and lose the other forever.
I'm not asking for an answer "go with her" or "you are the worst!" I truly ask for help to see how can I decide , both of them are amazing but I don't know.