I don't know what to do...looking for opinions.
My ex and I broke up for what I look at as petty. My friend was poking around his myspace and pointed out that a girl he once really liked was chatting him up. I was only a little irritated. I knew he wasn't going to cheat on me or anything. But because it bothered me a bit, my friend takes the liberty of snatching my cell and pretends to be me. This results in her saying things I would never say because my heart was involved too. It also made him think I was overly jealous of the girl. And his last reply to my friend asking his true feelings for me he said "I didn't really feel a vibe." So then I was finally given the keys and asked him did he want to end our relationship. He said I would find someone better. Of course I can...but I don't date one guy and scope out an upgrade. I don't go for the next best thing...My ex was and still is important to me. He was like my friend and my lover. But I took what he said to mean he wanted to end things. I never replied back. I just cried...and I didn't contact him at all for a number of weeks. It was hard, but I didn't want him to think I didn't respect his decision. Until he said I was the one that broke up with him. I now realize his last text was incomplete (the start of a new sentence was cutoff) so I didn't read it all and my lack of reply was that? Anyway...I talked with him, but his sister had to translate my meaning for him. I told him that it wasn't me texting him until I asked did he want to break up. And that I wasn't jealous of a girl I didn't know and wouldn't be if I did. I'm secure enough in myself. Yes...his family likes me, but I don't know if that holds much weight. A week after that...I greeted his sister and ignored him at a house warming party. I did notice that his eyes would follow me everywhere. A week after that...yes...I had a talk with his sister. She brought up something I never realized before. I had allowed my friend to take alot of control in my relationship with my ex. I thought about that and in retrospect I know my ex was cringing whenever we were with our mutual friends because she was always telling him to do and that and with me too. That was something we didn't need. So I apologized to him about that and he accepted (good, right?). I also apologized for being a jerk about ignoring him. He told me that I wasn't a jerk and he did have his faults in what happened too. He was being vague, but...ugh. I will admit that yes...I want him back. He was someone I needed in a relationship. He would give me the space I needed and of course would ask me what was wrong since he can sense when something is bothering me but he won't push me. He listens to me when I feel ready to open up to him. He's patient about how long I open up to him. He would talk to me about his hopes and dreams, but I see now he was always afraid I would get the friend involved. FYI: my ex is her bf of 3 years friend from their kindergarten days. She matched us together. In that recent talk with my ex...he said he didn't really feel a part of the group anymore so he might as well go do his own thing. I think that's good. He should have a more diverse group of friends. I do but I do spend my majority of my time with our mutual friends.I hate that my two girl friends have been telling their boyfriends to keep him at a distance for my sake though. He also said I shouldn't worry about it anymore...but does that mean not worry that it wasn't completely my fault (I know that...he is also VERY inexperienced with relationships so he wouldn't always take the right course of action) or about us together? Like I said I want him back, but how do I go about that? Should I just tell him outright? I don't want to take a dive and then end up drowning. Would now even be a good time since he feels as if he is being ostracized?
