This is getting rediculous

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15-04-10, 02:12 PM
Cbrider

This is getting rediculous

I have had this girl that has been my close friend since like high school. I had an infatuation with her all through my last two years of high school. She was interested on and off and we semi dated near the end of my senior year. Anyway, she is a year younger and I went off to college so things stopped. Long story short, she ended up at the college I was going to and I transferred to a different college in the state.

Time passed and I disconnected myself with the thoughts of liking her as anything more than a friend.....she didn't. She still has a huge thing for me that apparently hasn't diminished at all in the past years. We talk now and then, but there's really nothing more outside of that. We had a particularly awkward conversation a while back. She started dating a guy at her school and I thought I had finally been relieved of my spot of "the one."

She breaks up with this guy and we get to talking, and she explains she's never found a spark with anyone like she had with me. At this point I am on damage control and trying to make a clean exit because I really don't know how to react or what to say. I have stuck to my guns, explaining to her that I don't hold the attraction anymore.

A week or so ago, she asked me to be her date to a mutual friends wedding next month. I actually have something planned that weekend, so i couldn't go, but I honestly wouldn't want to even if I could. I just find it hard to be around her knowing how she feels and I don't want to lead her on. I don't know how to be a friend without giving her a wrong signal.

It was her birthday today and i didn't call her because I have been sick as shit all day puking my guts out. When I text her a bit ago telling her sorry that I didn't call, that I was sick, she gave me the guilt trip. "Yeah, I was kinda of surprised you didn't call, hope you feel better." It kind of pissed me off to be honest, I'm puking every hour on the hour, can I get a break?

How in the hell am I suppose to explain this to her any clearer than I already have? I feel like I can hardly be a friend anymore because its making me uncomfortable.
15-04-10, 02:29 PM
Asip4u

If you're finding it hard to handle things with her and it's truly this bad, there is only one thing to do and that's cut all ties. I know people will say that you have a history and it's not that easy but again if it's that bad it's the only thing you can do really.
15-04-10, 02:34 PM
soulsurvivor23

I think the "cut all ties" thing depends on if she's your friend or not.. If she is your friend and you value her friendship than just be straight up with her that you are looking for nothing further than friendship and leave it up to her to decide if she can accept that and still be friends.
15-04-10, 02:36 PM
Asip4u

Quote:

Originally Posted by soulsurvivor23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think the "cut all ties" thing depends on if she's your friend or not.. If she is your friend and you value her friendship than just be straight up with her that you are looking for nothing further than friendship and leave it up to her to decide if she can accept that and still be friends.

The be straight up stuff, i was kinda guessing that either happened or was made obvious to her..but yes i agree otherwise.
15-04-10, 06:44 PM
starbuck

She's still pining over you, and seems to have expectations that go beyond a casual friendship. I think being friends with her is only going to keep pissing you off.

I say cut her loose as well.
15-04-10, 11:23 PM
TAVS

Whats the problem? Tell her you're not interested and stop communicating
15-04-10, 11:42 PM
dono01

Cut her loose man. Not more time needs to be spent there.

SIDE NOTE: I am remembering now how short and sweet TAVS always was. lol. It's kind of refreshing, and somehow reminds me of "Jack Bauer."
15-04-10, 11:43 PM
Gigabitch

Friends don't want to be romantically involved with one another. You're her friend, but she's not yours. She is never going to give up wanting a chance with you, so it's pointless to continue this farce of friendship. Tell her not to contact you any more because you can't give her what she wants and you're tired of having to fend her off.
15-04-10, 11:56 PM
TAVS

Quote:

Originally Posted by dono01 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Cut her loose man. Not more time needs to be spent there.

SIDE NOTE: I am remembering now how short and sweet TAVS always was. lol. It's kind of refreshing, and somehow reminds me of "Jack Bauer."

Dono, I didnt even recognize you. Good to see you. I do have a way of cutting through the bullshit, that not everyone appreciates
16-04-10, 04:16 AM
Jas_mine

"It was her birthday today and i didn't call her because I have been sick as shit all day puking my guts out. When I text her a bit ago telling her sorry that I didn't call, that I was sick, she gave me the guilt trip. "Yeah, I was kinda of surprised you didn't call, hope you feel better." It kind of pissed me off to be honest, I'm puking every hour on the hour, can I get a break?"

- yet you managed to come on here to spill your story?!

Seriously though, you need to be straight up with her - just tell her she's a friend, nothing more, nothing less. You need to make her aware of your feelings, and she deffo needs to know that there is no longer any hope left here. I don't know, maybe because you were infatuated with her for a while and you guys kinda casually dated, she thinks there is a chance it could develop into something, you just need to make it clear that's all. That or start talking about other girls in front of her, that might do the trick!
16-04-10, 04:25 AM
lahnnabell

She's not gonna get it until you remove yourself from the situation. Every little bit of contact you make with her is just another little spark of hope for her. Doesn't seem like she's actually doing much to try and attract you either... just kinda throwin' herself in your path and hoping you'll look her way. Kinda pathetic really.

My boyfriend had the same problem in the past with a girl he'd been hooking up with and she'd insisted that's all she wanted. Months later he was constantly reexplaining to her that they were not in a relationship. She even had the gall to call him up while he was visiting a female friend and bitch at him for it. Friggin' psycho. However, he does realize that part of it was his fault for continuing any sort or relationship with her. Either way, eventually he got so tired of the drama that he cut her off altogether. She even tried popping back up last year, but he made it clear to her that I am Queen :)

No contact, man. It's the only way.
16-04-10, 08:13 AM
Cbrider

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jas_mine [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

- yet you managed to come on here to spill your story?!!

Haha, yeah, at the time I posted this I was starting to feel better, and typing doesn't involve any sort of verbal communication whiich is what i didn't want to do.

Thanks for the advice. I kind of felt like this was headed down the road to an inevitable divide.
16-04-10, 12:09 PM
Smiletone

Time to move on!