Is this girl different....?

For years i chased after every hot girl i saw and had no desire to commit or have a girlfriend nagging me. I was wild, free and the hotter/b!tchiers/sluttier the girl, the more likely i was to go for her.

Last year I met this girl however. She was nice, she was fun, she was friendly, and by no means what i'd usually go for, I admit I go for the coca bottle shape sex-bomb. although pretty she was quite petite and nowhere near this.

Long story short we got on like a house on fire, she was all over me first date. But then she cancelled the next 3 times, like really close to the day or on the day. Although we were still talking and messaging all the time, its not like she just avoided me

Years of instinct meant that player gene kicked in and I said look, I'm gona stop asking cos I don't like coming across needy or desperate. She said it wasnt like that, she was genuinely busy with her new promotion and she can be like that at times, with her own friends as well. She said why don't we just be friends, because "your going travelling next month you have so much to look forward to". (I lost my job some months before due to redunancy and went out to travel for a couple of months just after i met her. she was also a year single after a 5 yr relationship and dated 2 donuts before me for background info)

decided to stay friends, she messaged me before i left. I messaged her back, seemed cool, friendly. Until she started saying things like when are you coming back, you look cute in your dp, this song came on it reminded me of you. not all the time but a few times whilst i was out there.

cut a long story short i came back early due to my grandmas death and my year has sucked BIG TIME since i came back. Jobwise, falling out with my friends, failing exams in my professional qualification etc. Thats another story.

She messaged 2 weeks after I got back saying how was it bla bla, i refused to open up about my grandmas death (as u can see it requires an anonymous internet forum for me to "open up"). the messaging decreased steadily. I still message on a friendly basis. but i still got a few random comments like "did you meet any hot brazilian girls?" "awww u look so young in your display pic", and "i'm disappointed that you did cocaine in colombia" i just brushed it off as ah whatever.

it slowly ebbed out to into me trying to start up convos and getting minimal response from her.
then last week she asked about a bb status I had about going to canada to look for work. we ended up talking for a while but as soon as i felt like i was unloading, i checked myself. but then yesterday i did and she didnt brush me off she replied and listened and advised.
i thort to h*ll with it, i said i owed her a drink for listtening to me the other day and know it can be weird some dumping their problems like that, its not usually my nature. she said dont worry no biggy its fine. i said so whats up with you, i got a "im out right now talk to u later" nothing since.

I've evidently ignored signals, but thats my nature i didnt want to read too much into things and didnt want to look stupid if i said lets meet up and she said "er no" . but only ONE date with this girl, and shes still there and still in my thoughts. Is this simply a case of my male arrogance annoyed because she chose to not see me or something else?

Next time she contacts you, ask her if she wants to come fu(k. You'll either get laid, or she'll never talk to you again, and you should be fine with either outcome.

You sound very insecure, and you cover it up by hiding your emotions and putting up barriers. You are terrified of showing your emotions to anyone. That's why you tend to go for girls who represent nothing but who also boost your confidence. You can be with them, without being with them. Apparently this particular woman got to you somehow. Maybe because she didn't fall at your feet, maybe she reminds you of your mother, who knows. *She* isn't different, your perception of her is different from your perception of the other women you've been with.

I suggest you start asking yourself why you are so afraid of your own emotions - why are you ashamed of showing yourself to others? Even the way you speak is a mask. Work on yourself, learn how to be more comfortable with yourself and others.

searock ^, your bit assumptive and judgemental
where exactly does it say i'm afraid to release my emotions, to my friends and family i'm an open book i tell them exactly whats bugging me.
i quite clearly told this girl i liked her and i don't know wheter shes dropping signals or not and why shes not bein receptive when i try to talk to her

Don't you have player genes and years of instinct to go on??

Not being receptive when you talk to her is a HUGE, GLARING, OBVIOUS sign that she is not interested. Be her friend, or drop her.

yeh i know thats what i thort, but she randomly inquisitive at random times. just when i think shes gone she comes back trying to open up conversation. and not "friendly" cos talking to girls in a friendly way is easy, talk to loadsa girls like that this one is weird

This one is not weird, special, or different. She is an attention whore. She likes that she has you pussy whipped, without even giving you any pussy. How does that make you feel? The only time she talks to you is when you ignore her. Attention whore. Have fun with her.

She may be an attention whore, but he is attracted to her in a "special" way precisely because she doesn't seem interested. That's why I think you, OP, should work on understanding yourself.

Why do you have trouble opening yourself up to women you date, and why are you so afraid of commitment?