Help an ungodly confused boy.. (me )

Okay, First things first.. this is the first time I post to a forum in history of ever so excuse me, but help me I'm really confused about this girl I love..

it all started 4 months ago when I was at school, she had her period and she was crying really hard because of the pain, I came to her (being she knowing I like her) agreed to talk for a while until the pain will go off.. So we had great talk, about her love life.. then I confessed to her.. I said " I love you "
she said " I love you too " then she rested her head off of my shoulder then slowly.. I kissed her.. she didn't resisted.. She kissed me back.. it was my First Kiss, well she was. And I was hers too . that is what she said though, after that, problems came when her admirer came. He literally begged her to take him and He was crying because he knew what happened to us. Knowing that He will not win against me He still insisted up until now when It looks like he won.. Now we have to pretended that we are not seeing each other or even texting each other but the fact is we always do. Its like she is hiding me from the world because they know she is with him and she doesn't want others talking behind her back so I agreed, so I suffered hiding shadows, watching her, It pains but to see her safe makes me smile. Now she is going away miles from our small town because of her mother and all I ask if she could spare me some of her time and text me often, she said yes and I asked her if she loves me she said "Yes, I do I love you so much" but she doesn't want a relationship she said "I'm not yet ready" but she said if we happened then I would be her first boyfriend it made me happy but now every time I call her, her number is busy and she doesn't reply most of my texts its like she is favoring the other guy, following his requests because if she did not he will rage on and she did not want that to that to happen.

so here is the question :
Do you really think She loves me or is she just playing with my heart?
Why don't she just told the other guy frankly that she loves me not him?
Why do I have to hide in shadows?
Why do she have to follow his request, is she just scared or did she did it voluntarily?

IT hurts having to see her with the other guy
IT pains to see her leaving to another city
but the thought of she leaving me KILLS me.

She does not love you. She is playing with you. Stop texting her and find someone else.

Are u guys like 13 years old? Lol

You're her male GIRLfriend. Quit being her emotional tampon and tell her to go cry to her chick friends when she needs emotional soothing. She'll never view you as a man when you're treating her like you're her best FEMALE friend.