When you are constantly ignored
I dated a guy for a year and we had a kind and respectful relationship.
It was a mutual decision to break up because we both needed to work on ourselves.
It was a mature, respectful and healthy breakup. We didn't talk for 2 months. I got over him romantically pretty quickly and over the relationship shortly after. We had talked on the phone a handful of times to see how the other person was doing, how's life ect. They were good long talks, I think we talked 3 times over summer.
But lately, I've felt upset. Now, I don't want to hear comments that 'I need to get over it' - 'it's been 5 months, why does still bother you?' ect. I know our society wants us to be cold hearted assholes but when you meet someone and become vulnerable in a loving relationship, it's impossible to turn yourself into a cold hearted asshole. Frankly, I have feelings, feelings that a human being would have and I'm not going to just push my ex off of a cliff JUST because we ended things. If he had cheated on me fine, but this was a mutual break up where we understood we shouldn't be together because we need to go on different paths and be with people better suited for us. So, whatever feelings I feel I am going to embrace them and figure out why I am feeling that way.
Okay.
Lately, the past couple of weeks, I have felt upset with him. We talked about being on talking terms, I told him I would be there for him if he needed someone to talk to and we would seldom talk on the phone - possibly one day go for a casual coffee. I told him, if he actually wants to be on talking terms it is very important to me that he reaches out. He said he would for sure do so and that he wants to be friends. I made it clear to him, that if he didn't want to be friends, I wouldn't be hurt by that and it's important that he is honest with me.
So guess what has happened since then? Nothing. This was 3 months ago, I had sent him little texts here and there, where he has barely responded. I get it, I should get the hint right? He doesn't care about me anymore, doesn't want to make an effort to talk to me and is humoring me by responding lightly to my casual texts. Yes everyone, I can see it.
But it still ****ing hurts. And I don't understand. I sent him a text a couple weeks ago saying, 'I understand if you don't want to talk you just need to let me know, okay?' and he continued to be like 'No, no, I want to talk, I just haven't been talking to anyone lately.. blah blah blah' our conversation continued and it was apparent I was upset with him and I VERY maturely ;) said "Whatever, it's okay.". To which he did not reply to.
I sent another one on Thursday expressing the same thing. I sent another one today saying, 'Okay, I get it, you don't want to be on talking terms. I'm deeply insulted you have chosen to ignore me than respect me enough to tell me the truth.'
Yeah, I'm hurt. I had a dream about him ignoring me, laughing at me when I would ask why he is ignoring me on Thursday, which is why I sent the text. I'm hurt he has chosen to ignore me and not respect me. I am hurt that what I thought was a loving break-up has turned into a typical 'Guy ignores ex, while girl has emotions' - breakup. I am a strong girl, I can handle rejection but I can't handle when someone purposely ignores me and doesn't respect me enough to tell me why. It just drives me crazy. How many people do you meet who actually genuinely care about you? In my case, how many people do I meet that I actually genuinely care about, not many. So the fact that my only genuine relationship the past year that had ended maturely has abandoned me while society insists that I have no emotions about this hurts. It hurts.
