need some advice on a "sticky" situation

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29-12-11, 04:30 AM
buckeyechick88

need some advice on a "sticky" situation

ive never really done this before, telling people i dont know about personal stuff but i kind of dont know what else to do, probably should tell the problem first! lol! my boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 months now and here lately the relationship has gotten kind of crappy. we've been arguing like cats and dogs pretty much all the time and our sex life has pretty much all but disappered. this is my only 2nd serious boyfriend that i've had in my life, my first one lasted 3 years and i plan on having this one for the rest of my life. my boyfriends far more experienced in the bedroom than i am but with him, i'm comfortable enough to try just about anything he wants. and he's into some pretty kinky stuff. but the problem is that for the past 2 months, instead of having sex with me, my boyfriend will watch a porno or something on skinamax and then go to the bathroom and jack-off. i dont know how many nights i've waking up to him jacking off 2 inches next to me at 2-3 o'clock in the morning. or my least favorite, he'll take the laptop or my phone into the bathroom and read or watch porn on them and then jack-off. and he thinks i dont know what he doing or that i cant find the proof. what my question to you readers? is what am i suppose to do? i know most guys masterbate sometime but if theres a person whos more than willing to do whatever his heart desires, why go and do that. cause it makes me feel like crap and that i'm not pleasing him enough and i just need to know what i can do. sorry for the crappy way i got all this out, i know its not great english writing! any advice would be helpful. thank you
29-12-11, 10:23 PM
bulrush

Maybe he's getting negative signals from you regarding sex? Are you really passive, or non-communicative about sex? He will take that as a "no I'm not interested" signal. Clear communication is important. How about if, when he goes to the bathroom for a wank, you knock on the door and ask in a friendly voice "Can I help with something?" or "Can I have some?"

The other thing I have to ask about is sensitive, so try not to get defensive. Is he physically attracted to you? Are you overweight? Most guys are not into heavy chicks. You need to be honest, are you truly overweight or just a little soft? Because physical attraction MIGHT be an issue here.

The other thing is, how often does he have a wank? He might be addicted to porn. Cut off the porn, and see if his attitude changes. Talk to him and tell him the porn might be affecting your relationship, so you want to stop it for 3 weeks. If he can't talk about issues, you two won't be able to sustain a long-term relationship.
29-12-11, 11:28 PM
bcgirl

two young people....been together for only 5 months.....hmmm.........it's not rocket science but I would say that this relationship will never work in the long run. At the 5 month mark you two are supposed to not argue like cats and dogs and still have a great sex life. Everything points to incompatibility. Now if this was a 20 yr marriage.... i would understand. I'd say break up with him now before it turns to 5 years down the road.... This is only your second relationship, you have a lot to learn about relationships....go and explore.
29-12-11, 11:32 PM
enginex

Quote:

Originally Posted by bcgirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

two young people....been together for only 5 months.....hmmm.........it's not rocket science but I would say that this relationship will never work in the long run. At the 5 month mark you two are supposed to not argue like cats and dogs and still have a great sex life. Everything points to incompatibility. Now if this was a 20 yr marriage.... i would understand. I'd say break up with him now before it turns to 5 years down the road.... This is only your second relationship, you have a lot to learn about relationships....go and explore.

I agree with the above. My relationship with my girlfriend broke down after just over 3 years. If your boyfriend is acting like this now, and you are arguing all the time, I would say this is the time to end it. Before taking that drastic measure, I would first advise discussing the problem openly. You need to confront the issue and understand the things that both of you want from this relationship. You both have to be willing to compromise to some degree.
30-12-11, 12:18 AM
buckeyechick88

i'll have to try to give the asking if he needs help a try. he says he's physically attracted to me. im fat but because of him, i've lost 50 pounds and still going. hes attracted to big girls cause almost all of his exes are bigger than him, which isnt hard cause hes like a tooth pick! i think he wanks 2 or 3 times a week. i do think he might have an issue with porn by some of the conversations we've had.