Erratic relationship and I'm feeling looooww, what do you make of this? Guidance plz!
Many times, I have attempted to break up with my boyfriend of 18 months due to my need to explore my sexuality. I am bisexual, and want to try out both genders some more, otherwise I am not happy. My boyfriend knows about my needs and is prepared to even allow me to while we are in a relationship together because whenever we try and break up, we BOTH end up brokenhearted. We love each other so much deep down and we are two very lucky people... we match too well!!
HOWEVER, due to my recklessness and neediness for exploring other guy & girls (i'd never cheat), I tried breaking up with him again last Friday. It is now Wednesday and as usual we had broke up for 2 days but then pulled back together because we can't help it!! Even though we fell back into love on Monday when he came round mine, I have not seen him since! because he is busy with exams. Therefore, my love that re-built in a day has flunked and turned into a horrible needy feeling of missing him... mixed with accusement. During this time of not seeing him, I found a photo of a girl he is friends with at his course and she looks very much like his type!! ..... GRRRRRR!!!!! *angry!*
Right now, I feel I'm being a very bad girlfriend because I feel angry, untrusting and reckless. I feel like stomping over to his place to see if his car is there, and a nagging thought is saying he won't be.... *FUUME*. I really don't know if I am much hope to him even though he loves me very much. Might I mention, there is a 15 year age gap between us, and he has had much more exploration with his sexuality... something that I envy.
Can someone please give me their opinion on this situation because I am going out of my mind! Ask questions at will!!
