Why do I still feel this way???

About a month ago this guy who happens to be my ex from years ago asked me out again for drinks.
I hesitated because since we had been together over the past few months he had acted like a jerk a few times, but we still had alot of chemistry going on so i dealt with it. Then this last evening he does something to
upset me again, was basically talking to this other girl who was dating the bartender and apparently someone he used to work with the whole time we were at the bar. When I brought it up on the way back to his place he acted like I should have chimed in or something and so I blew it off.

Anyway we had sex again that nite and he seemed to act like a jerk afterwards to Id decided I had really had it this time!
The next day I went to his work on my way in and told him: " I let my guard down and I just cant feel knocked
down anymore ", and that basically we should just stay friends (which is all we were anyway).
He basically just said "he understands"and I couldnt really tell if it bothered him at all.

We were together for 7 years and were each others first love so im having a hard time with this.
The nite before he had also said "maybe we shouldnt have sex anymore" because
he didnt wear protection and didnt want to get me pregnant. So I guess I was just really insulted by this.
Im just wanting to know how this sounds and if I should contact him to see how he's doing.
Its been no contact for 5 weeks and I still feel upset by all of this over the past few months and have
had a roller coaster of emotions.

Thanks

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Im just wanting to know how this sounds and if I should contact him to see how he's doing.
Its been no contact for 5 weeks and I still feel upset by all of this over the past few months and have
had a roller coaster of emotions.

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Why do you keep doing this to YOURSELF.

He's made it very evident that he'll have sex with you if you are willing. His actions show that that is all he's interested in. Stop the continuous hurt and go cold turkey from this man. If you don't cleanse yourself from this guy, you will NEVER be open and vulnerable enough to be able to fall in love with a guy that wants you in all ways. This casual, sexual relationship is slowly stealing all your joy and motivation to be the best you that you can be.

How many threads will you create about him before you GET that?

you are doing this to yourself... i know its hard.. i did the same thing... and still do sometimes.. but there is NOTHING you can do to change it... just live in the moment and move on with your life!

OMG there are so many nice guys out there just waiting to give you attention....stop beating yourself up for making a mistake...we have all done it so what....let it go for crying out loud...the dude isn't worth fretting over.

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The nite before he had also said "maybe we shouldnt have sex anymore" because
he didnt wear protection and didnt want to get me pregnant. So I guess I was just really insulted by this.

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Worry less about being insulted and worry more about the fact that you might be an unwed mother. Please don't have unprotected sex with him (or anyone) unless you are on the pill and know that he's being exclusive with you. Don't lose all common sense and logical thinking over this.