I know only a GIRL can help me with this one
hey ladies :)
First of all I want you to remember that you girls are the most perfect being in nature... well that's also something that made me suffer big time! well passion means some suffering anyways.
well...
I am confused big time. I had what I thought it was a horrible relationship which lasted 4 years and broke up in late 2011... Then i met this beautiful, smart, warm girl. bla bla bla we eventually started dating. then she told me some very dark things she has done in the past and, unfortunatly, her past behaviour changed completely the relationship, for worse.. I tried my best to recover her from the past bad habbits but forgot about my own issues (family) and it all got pretty bittersweet. I NEVER did anything near wrong whatsoever with her as I was dealing with someone that I wanted to treat the best way possible. So i did. However, 5 months after we started dating, it all got pretty confusing and hard to explain, as she would start to claim more and more from me, fighting and yelling if I wasn't available for her smallest demands... In the end I was broke (she lived out of town and I spent about 600dollars a month in gas just to be with her), getting bald and ill (i've become a very stressed person, sleeping not more than 3/4 hours a day. my body was so tired that i felt my heart rate become very inconsistent everyday), and decided I should get out of that life. I understood that my first relation was way helathier that what I was experiencing
So I broke up with her quite sometime ago.
THIS is the tricky part: I'm feeling very blue, very sad, empty.. empty as I'm in need of a specific girl...
I don't miss my (most recent) ex at all. I thought I was having feelings again for my ex no.1 (well we dated for a very long time), but not. It isn't it...At all. I asked her out for icecream the other day so we could put up some friendly conversation and to clear up my mind but realised that I was actually feeling something.. but not for her.
So I talked to my mom about this and concluded: It was a girl I met in highschool a long time ago!
gosh it's THAT girl. the girl i said she was the one when I met her 5 years ago. The girl I kissed once and never got over it. I realised I've been living in denial since i met her. And I met her while I was dating ex no.1...
I'm still thinking about her almost everyday to this day and It gets pretty odd whenever I see her (which has become pretty rare).
I feel I need to talk to her, to see her and clear my mind.
However she's been pissed of at me since the day we kissed (took place in between ex no.1 and no.2) so I'm really afraid.
Girls, tell me sincerely...Is there any use in trying to communicate with this girl? Is it even worth the try? will I scare her? I feel like sh*t and very ashamed of my feelings right now.
this all is very confusing. sorry for taking your time :s
anyway, it felt very good to let this all out, gosh, thank you!
