The Pain wont stop

A somewhat quick background

A fellow co-worker and I became VERY good,close friends about 5 yrs ago.
2 years ago we made the mistake of crossing the line. I say it was a mistake cause we are both married. She has been married 15 yrs, myself 14 yrs. Im not gonna get into that aspect of it cause we both are not proud of what we did, it just happened. We both started flirting pretty heavy and we just didnt see the line approach when we crossed it. We used to text constantly. Hell we'd average about 250/day for months.

After our affair, we both talked heart to heart and came to terms with what we did and to put the past behind us and move forward. Now I love my wife, she has been wonderful but I also fear I am in love with my closest friend.

Last year, the txts started to get less and less. We are now at the point where if she txts me once a week, i consider it very lucky. We do trips together and we visit for about 20 min a day, but our friendship has definately taken a turn for the worse. I think about her a LOT and reminience the old times (not the sex). how our friendship used to be. I miss her a lot as my friend and even talked about how distant she seems to me. When we do trips together or visit, its like old times (minus the HEAVY flirting). But our phone calls, txts, and other general hanging out times are gone.

I sometimes cry once in awhile cause I miss her terribly. It's hard for me to work cause I see her and she is always wanting hugs every time I do see her. But I do not know what to do. I still want her as a part of my life but it just seems no matter how hard I try, its gone.

thanx in advance.