recently divorced ex messing with my head
I am 22, and the girl I dated throughout my teenage years has recently been divorced after having a child within the past year. We have remained in contact since we split when I was 18, as friends. We talk through online messaging and text messages mostly and occasional phone calls since we are now 2.5 hours apart after I left out hometown, but have seen each other and hung out occasionally when I'm in town, although not in the past year.
Well she has been talking to me more and more lately, and there's no use in lying, but I've always had some feelings for her, but maybe it's from the nostalgia of talking to her and remeber youth... I don't know. Anyways, she's been talking to me a lot and although we haven't seen each other physically. The past two nights especially she has been very emotional after having some drinks and fully admitted having feelings for me that she "likes" me and tried to get me to admit feelings for her, but I avoided that question since there's been distance between us. Anyways, I told her basically that she's probably just drunk and looking for a rebound, and she said she already had a rebound and that she has tried to ignore her feelings for me and can't, that the reason she tried to stay in contact with me while she was married all this time was from old feelings she tried to surpress. Well I made her cry with how I handled the situation because Im currently seeing someone, although we arent dating or anything, and its just an all around awkward situation. Well today she seems to be very distant and doesnt try hard to hld conversations with me. I've talked a bit and tried to smooth everything over and everything seems happy on her end, but it's like she suddenly doesnt have the attachment and interest in me she did lately. I dont know if shes trying to play games, or if she was overreacting to some drunk nostalgic emotions, or whatever is going on.
All I really understand is that for some reason I'm attached and have feeligns for this girl, and even though I'm seeing someone else and I'm normally fine with girls and detached, for some reason this ex gf is on my mind constantly lately. I think I want her and the obvious logical problems with potentially being with her (divorce, child, distance, etc), none of that bothers me if I can get some demonstration of honest intentions or feelings or something... I don't know really. I just want to understand what she's trying to do with me.
WHat should I do?
I will be going back to out hometown this weekend for other business, but since she has literally begged me to come visit (until toda...), I was thinking maybe I could see if we shared feeligns in person since we haven't seen each other in so long. Does this visit sound like a good idea? Honestly, it would probably end up in us drinking and having sex which could be awkward.
Should I completely ignore her and see if she takes the initiative to contact me again? Or maybe even just ignore her completely and move on with my life?
I don't know how to handle this. I have never had these emotional, attachment, and jealousy problems over any other girls but her. We are just talking and somehow it's ****ing wiht my brain so bad, and I can't think about anything else. I spend time with the girl I'm seeing, and somehow my ex is still on my mind. I don't understand and need help
I'm sorry of this is hard to read and doesn't make much sense. I've had way more than a few beers, heh...
