My boyfriend could be the father of another woman's baby, but won't discuss the issue
I am female and 26, my boyfreind is 27.We have been together for about 2 years now. Back in December, we broke up for a month and a half. During that time, as it really looked like we would not be getting back together, I slept with an ex-boyfriend.
When my current boyfriend and I began talking again, I didn't bring up the fact that I had slept with someone else. I had been tested and we were using condoms, so it didn't seem like the information would do anything but hurt him. However, once we had been back together for a couple of weeks, he drunkenly confessed that he had slept with an ex-girlfriend once while we had been broken up. He swore it was only one time, and she was the only person he had been with. Since he had been honest with me, I felt the need to do the same and told him I had also slept with an ex.
He freaked out. He started dry-heaving, and had an intense physical reaction. At first he was upset, but then he also became angry with me. He said he couldn't beleive I had done that to him. I was angry that he was being a hypocrite, and pointed out that he had done the same. At this point, he told me that he had actually slept with someone else too. He said her name was "Lucy" and she was good friends with his friend "Mary". He initially said he slept with her once, but then said it was around 3 times.
We got in a pretty big fight about the whole thing, as I was very irate that he lied to me. However I got over it, and we got back together and have been doing really well.
A couple of weeks ago, we were going to go to see a concert. He told me his friend Mary wanted to go too, which was fine with me. He said she was going to meet us, but she never showed up. When I asked him about it, he said that maybe she had been planning on bringing Lucy, the girl he had slept with, but then thought it may be weird if I was there. I asked if he thought Lucy still had a thing for him, and he said she still may want to hook up, but the last he had heard she was pregnant. I freaked and inquired if she was carrying his child. He said it wasn't, but didn't really elaborate as to how he knew, other than saying they had used a condom. However, that is not exactly fail-proof. He implied however that the dates didnt' match up.
A couple of nights ago, we went to a bar to watch a local band. His friend Mary was there, and so was Lucy. Lucy was a horrible, foul person. I am not saying this out of jealously. She was 8 months pregnant and publicly drinking and smoking in the bar. She belched loudly, and was wearing gross mismatched clothes. Also, not to be cruel, but she was terribly unattractive, and mostly due to poor hygiene and disgusting mannerisms.
I was both grossed out and confused. If she was 8 months pregnant, and they had been sleeping together in December, the timing would work out perfectly for him to be the father. She clearly didn't think so, as she was talking to me about her "baby daddy" and how she couldn't wait to pawn the kid off on him so she could go out drinking without the baby. As werid as the situation was, Lucy did not seem to feel awkward at all and was actually very friendly to me.
I found the whole situation weird, and was very upset for several reasons. For one, I couldn't believe that my boyfriend would sleep with such a terrible, disgusting person. I also was confused as to how he was sure the baby wasnt' his. Once we left, I confronted him about the situation. He got mad at me for being upset. He now claims that they had only slept together once, and he was just really, really drunk. When I asked how he knew the baby wasnt' his he would only say "I just do, Ok".
His anger and unwillingness to communcate were so frustrating that I just left, as I felt we would only continue to fight. At this point I don't know what to do. How DOES he know that the baby isn't his? How could he sleep with someone so repellent? I dont' know if I can be physically affectionite with him at this point without getting that image in my mind.
One of my friends has suggested that maybe he didn't really sleep with her and was only saying he did to upset me after he found out I slept with my ex. I find that hard to believe, especially after he stuck with the story and brought it up a second time. I would like to think he didn't sleep with her, as it is so gross, but it would also creep me out if he were being dishonest.
If you were him in the situation, how would you be so sure the baby wasnt' yours? Wouldn't you be concerned considering the timing that there was a chance it could be? And that your child would be raised by someone who was smoking and drinking during pregnancy and showed no interest in parenting?
Should I be horrified he slept with someone so gross, or is that just how men are? Could he be lying? Is this something worth breaking up over?
