On and off the rocks

Hello All,
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years and we have recently been having some trouble. Over the past 2 years we have been looking on and off to buy a house, each time we got close... I backed out. Last week we decided to just rent an apartment (a decision he was very frustrated by). I tend to be an over analytical person so I was trying to diagnose the reason for my avoidance of the purchase and uncovered something I was not expecting.... apathy. I started wondering how we lasted five years together, are there better matches for me out there, do the things that annoy me outweigh the benefits. Obviously I am ashamed of these thoughts because my partner has done so much for me and is a person I implicitly trust and care for. He has been my rock through many serious bouts I have had with anxiety and the thought of walking away from our relationship makes me feel like a snake. Our entire lives are intertwined between pictures, vacations, furniture, friends and family. Do I really want to end this? or am I just confused? Our relationship blossomed slowly and we have always had intimacy issues, but would working on that bring us closer together? I am unsure how to proceed and welcome any advice you can contribute

Communicate. Talk to your partner. Tell him how you feel. Since you have been in a relationship this long, it would only be fair to have your partner be part of the decision-making process. Talk honestly and openly and see where that takes you. Your own analysis came up with things that surprised you. A good conversation with your partner will probably give you even more surprises.

Good luck.

Thank you for the thoughtful advice, you are absolutely right and we are definitely in this together.