Now Sure Where To Actually Post This...
Let me explain something first:
- I am not religious
- I am not superstitious
- I believe science holds all the answers
...so why do I feel as if someone set it all up for me?? I had a g/f and suddenly, I see this girl on my bus ride on a band trip. For some reason, I felt this urge to immediately dump my g/f and ask her out. I don't know why, because I've never had that urge unless I got to know the person a little. I mean I was attracted 'immediately'!!
I dumped my g/f and asked this girl out. She said yes. As the relationship moved, I realized that the already strong feeling grew and grew. I had 'never' felt that way about a girl in my entire life. I mean, I REALLY liked her!
Now see, I'm a picky guy -- I attract girls easily, with little effort. However, for as many of them that have asked me out, I only had 2 prior to her. This is because I'm too picky -- I expect certain things in a girl. Keep in mind that I was 19, almost 20 when I asked her out (I'm 20 now). The part that most people disagree with is that she's 5 years younger. I never intended on getting 'too' involved. But the feeling I had for her was stronger than she knew, and I got to the point where I started trying to put some distance between us. I kept doing this.... slowly. Eventually, after about 5 months, she figured that things weren't working out that well. Right before the 6 month mark, she broke up with me.
I put distance in to prevent myself from getting carried away with my feelings. I don't think the relationship was wrong, I just feel the timing was maybe too soon. The fact that she's 5 years younger than me doesn't concern me -- it's simply her age that concerns me. I did what I know probably no guy would have done..... I feel like an idiot for pushing myself away, but at the same time, I feel it was morally right.
Now here's my question -- how can a person like me who doesn't believe in superstition and such, feel as if there was someone who wanted us to be together? Remember how I said I am too picky...... and of all those girls I've liked or liked me, she's the ONLY one who matches was I expect 100%! I'm not kidding you, she is damn near perfect for me based on what I want in a girl and such. She's the best girl I've ever known.... matches what I want perfectly.... I had a sudden urge to ask her the moment I saw her.... she was quite attracted to me too.... I've never had an urge to just 'break up' with a girl just to go out with someone else just that simple......... when you consider all of those, I can't help but feel that a greater force wanted us together.
I know that sounds stupid (especially to me, because I normally laugh at things like that), but it's all too convincing. And to think that I took something that I KNOW was working on the right path and push away from it so I wouldn't get too involved... that hurts! The irony is that she thinks she broke up because it wasn't working, but I never told her that I kinda purposely made it not work. I'm asking for your opinion. I'd like to ask her out again maybe when she's 17 or 18 because I wouldn't have much reason to hold back then. Is this what they call "true love"? I'm very confused and could use some advice.
