Heart broken

Hi,

This may be long so bare with me.

I was in a long distance relationship (which wouldn't be a long distance as me and my family are going to be moving soon) with a girl I had really fallen for. We had been friends for 3yrs and started a relationship together. We were really good. She told me that she had never been happier in her life and it was all down to me. I addmit, I felt the same, after losing so many people (relatives that have died when I was growing up - a death every year from 1992 to 1997, including my grandfather who I lived with and grew up with - he was more like a dad to me) I felt asthough I had found someone I could be close to and not lose. We both got on really well with eachothers family too (I now plane spot with her brother - i'm a trainee pilot) Everything was going well! She use to say that she wanted to be with me forever..etc We ended up losing our virginity to eachother back in January (I held my virginity until I was 21 - I wanted it to be special, and to me it was) I made it clear to her that I was losing it to her because I saw a long term future with her and shes so special to me. She said she agreed and felt the same.

Three weeks later she went quiet on me. I kept asking her if there was anything wrong and she said no. A week later she ended things. :upset: I couldn't quite understand why.. and she didn't seem to want to say. By now it was nearing Valentines day. We spoke and got back together, for a week. Again she ended up finishing things with me saying that I smothered her (which is contradictory to what she had been saying to me previously) and she wanted to spend more time with her friends. The odd thing is she told a friend of mine that things didn't work because 'things just didn't work, and i'm busy with college' Anyway, I said to her that we could easily fix the problems that we were faced with and after all we had been through together it would be a shame to end a relationship because of that.

I went plane spotting with her brother about a month after the breakup and he told me that I could do better (their mother agreed) They said I was too nice for her. The ironic thing is that they didn't even know about our break up until I mentioned it. They had kept asking her how I was..etc and she always ignored them. :surprised The weird thing was that she asked me if I had told my family that we were no longer together numerous times on msn.

About a week or so later, she got with this new guy that she has known for a few years. It completely crushed me because up until then she appeared to give me mixed signals. :upset: I just fell apart, and I tried to just be friends with her but she was always so horrible and sarcastic with me. I don't understand why though, I just wanted things to work. Last night we spoke and I addmited I still like her and she told me that I was as interesting as a brickwall and as weak-minded as a goldfish. She told me I lived in a dream world and that i'd love a potatoe if it talked. She proceeded on to compare her b/f to me before blocking and deleting me from her msn. :( I don't know where any of this came from, we were happy and she never spoke of any problems and then just finished things. Am I wrong for being so heart broken?

Also, I have a problem regarding to sex. I lost my virginity to her and now we're no longer together I cannot see myself doing it with anyone else. I don't know why, but the thought of it repulses me. Losing my virginity was a special time and something I cannot take back. My ex was the right girl, I know that, but I didn't think we'd end up breaking up so soon after. I wouldn't have lost it to her if I didn't trust and feel so strongly for her and now I just feel asthough I couldn't ever bring myself to trust and be as close to anyone to do that again.

Am I being stupid for being so heart broken and being so emotionally torn apart? :upset:

Brother, if you choose not to believe me then thats your choice, but i recently broke up with my first seroius girlfriend, and i feel like shit. But what you have gone through must have been so much worse, i feel pain in my heart just thinking what it would be like in your situation.

Please remember that YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING, remember this, if you dont remember anything else that you read on this forum, please remember, YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING. She might seem like the only girl in the world for you at the moment, but i thought this as well, then i realised 'hold on a second, how come so many poeple go through the same thing i got through', its just the way your body copes with it.

This cannot stop you from living your life!! Life goes on!! Your killing now, but you have to remember, that there are plenty of women out there and one of them will make you the happiest man on earth.

Keep going because when the right woman comes along in life, you have to be ready for her bro!!!

Dont forget that if she treated you the way you described, if you got back together, what makes you think that she wont treat you that way again?? Would u be ready to go under the same pain again and again and again?

You probably thinking to yourself 'i dont give a **** how she treats me, i just want to be with her'. STOP!! Step back, if you were one of your friends what would you advise yourself to do???

Remember!! GET UP AND DO SOMETHING, SHE IS NOT WORTH YOU WORRYING ABOUT, I KNOW ITS HARD NOW, BUT WOULDNT YOU RATHER THAT SHE SAW YOU IN HALF A YEARS TIME, AND YOUR HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE DOING ALL THE SHIT YOU EVER WANTED TO DO!

Okay bro, you've just gone through some tough shit, I know, but let NOTHING step in your way. Pick yourself up, keep going. You need to live your life to the fullest because I can see you're an incredible person and she, quite simply, is a bitch.

Now is the part where you have to bring that warrior part out of you, haul ass out of that situation. You don't need to put up with her anymore, and you shouldn't have to!

What's even funnier is that her PARENTS said you can get so much better than that girl. Isn't that ironic? If HER parents are going to say that, then it should be an eye-opener for you. You DO deserve better, now drop the bitch and move on with your life man.

Don't feel any negativity, don't look at the ground, keep your chin up, walk with a smile, think happy thoughts (NOT of her!), and find another girl.

I've got faith that you can do it. Keep us updated bro!

Of course you're not stupid for being heartbroken. I don't think you should regret anything, though. I'll bet you learned a lot from this and you'll start to develop your standards a little more.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C172H

Hi,
This may be long

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It is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C172H

Hi,
so bare with me.

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No.



::leaves::

Don't mind Only-Virgins, he's an asswipe to everybody. :D

Hey,

Thanks for the kind replies.

I havent spoken to her since Sunday, I do miss her terribly though but i'm doing my best to move on. Today (May 9th) was the 10th anniversary of my grandads death. He was like my dad as I grew up living with him and when he died I was only 11 but the gap that it left inside of me was never filled until my ex came along. It took me a long time to trust her enough, but she had me convinced. She wasnt the cheating kind, and she wasnt into clubs..etc (All my previous g/f's had left me for people in clubs) We were a great match and I even told her that she was the only person thats ever filled that empty space inside of me. She seemed to appreciate that and always told me that whilst I was with her she would never hurt me nor do anything to threaten our relationship. I really put my trust in her and believed everything she said because unlike my previous g/f's, she was genuine.

Now i'm left feeling lost. I know I have to move on but I don't know where I go from here. I don't think I could ever let someone get that close to me again. When she first left I couldn't handle the situation and took a large dosage of paracetamol each night before bed. I made myself quite ill. When she said those awful things to me on Sunday I did the same thing. Not intentionally, but I felt like such an awful person. :upset: She will never know how much she hurt me and how much I loved her. I want to move on, but what must I actually do?

Hey I am new to the forum but understand whats happening to you. Met a women on line. She said in the beginning I was special blah blah blah all that stuff you want to hear. I told her the same. Then she started to get cold. Nothing changed. She just send me a message saying thanks but she needs to log off for a while. Like thanks have a nice life. Funny she even admitted to having a broken heart. No one knows what is going on inside the mind so dont try. My best advice is try not to hold a grudge it only makes it worse. One day at a time and you will see sunshine again. Oh forgot. Thought we were soul mates. wow really got burned

Hi

Thanks for the advice. I don't hold anything against her, but I do miss her so much and wish she just cared, even if it was a little. Afterall i'll still see her when I plane spot with her brother.

To add to this, my family has been arguing alot this week. I think my family is on the verge of being broken up. It's like one brickwall after another.