Freinds, right?

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02-09-10, 04:51 AM
commonsense111

Freinds, right?

Here's the thing. I've posted about my boyfreind having conversations with a specific girl at his work before.

What I want to know is why he wont call her his freind. We've talked a lot about this and his answer is always the same.

He says they talked on the phone about work and on occasion about other things but in his opinion they are not freinds.

Do guys ever view these things that way... that he and a girl just talk but they are by no means freinds?

He also said that he wouldn't care if the girl died tomorrow in a car accident... not that the harshness of that doesn't bother me.

Personally, I don't care except for the fact he may be lying to my face. I don't care if their freinds but just admit it already. If they are freinds so be it, I hope to meet her some time.

From my stand point they are freinds. However he says he doesn't really like her as a person much.... its fishy to me.

What do you guys think? I'm at a brick wall here.
02-09-10, 04:52 AM
girl68

I talk to tons of people at work- none of them are friends. Front your standpoint friends means anyone you talk to at work? Because *most* people call those folks "aquaintences"

I think you're an obsessed with absolutely no reason to be.
02-09-10, 05:02 AM
kitkitkitty

i agree with girl. another possibility is that he's not calling her a mate and he's speaking harshly about 'if she dies tomo' to, in his mind, not make you suspicious? but if it's about work and pretty formal stuff i don't think you should be worrying.
02-09-10, 05:11 AM
commonsense111

They've been talking on and off for about three years....

IDK. I feel like I should know him well enough after eight years to know he'd never start seeing someone else behind my back. I know he hides things that he knows isn't a big deal but fears will upset me and thats what got us into this sick cycle of mistrust. For eight years I've felt like he was a hard headed fool but still totally in love with me.

I feel deep down that its nothing but my insecurities get the best of me.

I just know that their conversations were sometimes once or twive a week and lasted over 30 minutes to forty-five... and that bothers me. Insecurity again? Or is it another indicator that they might be freinds?
02-09-10, 06:38 AM
girl68

Quote:

Originally Posted by commonsense111 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know he hides things that he knows isn't a big deal but fears will upset me and thats what got us into this sick cycle of mistrust.
I feel deep down that its nothing but my insecurities get the best of me.

Are you the thought police? Do you have to know EVERYTHING? (If yes, YOU have issues not him). He's allowed to have a private life is that private life remains faithful in all aspects at that point it's none of your business (if in fact it's really harmless).

I talk to my boss more than 1 hour per week and he ain't my friend.

I'm going to say exactly what you need to hear but don't want to:
He's done nothing at all wrong and the entire problem, issue and all that surrounds it is all YOUR issues. You are insecure, you are the thought police and you do need to know everything about all things. You need to work on believing what he says, and becoming a secure person in a secure relationship.
02-09-10, 07:31 AM
commonsense111

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl68 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Are you the thought police? Do you have to know EVERYTHING? (If yes, YOU have issues not him). He's allowed to have a private life is that private life remains faithful in all aspects at that point it's none of your business (if in fact it's really harmless).

I talk to my boss more than 1 hour per week and he ain't my friend.

I'm going to say exactly what you need to hear but don't want to:
He's done nothing at all wrong and the entire problem, issue and all that surrounds it is all YOUR issues. You are insecure, you are the thought police and you do need to know everything about all things. You need to work on believing what he says, and becoming a secure person in a secure relationship.

I know I have issues: my dad stepped out on my mom and I was the one who caught him and harbored that miserable information for months as a twelve year old kid..... my boyfriend knows this. My issues are deep and we're working on it.

Thanks. You said what i needed to hear. :)

However my boyfreind told me thats how he thinks and thats why he hides things from me... so i dont think im the thought police
02-09-10, 08:56 AM
WaiKru

FRIENDS. I'm the spelling police.

But seriously you probably have nothing to worry about. Don't be too suspicious or it'll push him away and you don't want your mistrust to drive him into the arms of another girl.
02-09-10, 09:22 AM
commonsense111

Quote:

Originally Posted by WaiKru [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

FRIENDS. I'm the spelling police.

But seriously you probably have nothing to worry about. Don't be too suspicious or it'll push him away and you don't want your mistrust to drive him into the arms of another girl.

Lol i know friends.... Use the phone to post isn't an easy task
02-09-10, 03:47 PM
kitkitkitty

Quote:

Originally Posted by WaiKru [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

FRIENDS. I'm the spelling police.

But seriously you probably have nothing to worry about. Don't be too suspicious or it'll push him away and you don't want your mistrust to drive him into the arms of another girl.

signature needed- SPELLING POLICE.
03-09-10, 08:15 AM
WaiKru

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

signature needed- SPELLING POLICE.

DONE! Haha