Feel like I already met and lost the 'one'

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02-08-11, 08:15 AM
Bella13

Feel like I already met and lost the 'one'

When I was younger (teenager) I became friends with this guy. We just connected completely. We became best friends and were for about a year and a half. We spoke every day and knew the other person better then we knew ourselves. Then we got together. I really loved him... it was deeper then I ever imagined love could be. It was literally unconditional (and that was tested) and I would have done anything for him. He said he wanted to marry me one day and build a life with me, and I would have married him one day.
For about 6 months everything was perfect, then things just started going wrong... the details really aren't important. For another 6 months it was up and down. Then he left me. Then he started seeing someone else 3 weeks later... and we all went to the same (small) college and I had to see them together every day.
It took me over a year to start getting over him... the things he said and did, and just how he became (he has serious mental and emotional problems) and how he treated me and how he made me feel is all really unforgivable. I don't want to be with him, I want nothing to do with him... I pretty much hate how he is now. I don't know how much time would have to pass before we could be ok again (but we don't talk ever).
since then I've been with 2 guys, one that I was kinda seeing and my current boyfriend.

so I'm over him. But I've never felt anything close to what I felt for him. I've never felt that connection with anyone. I've just not come close to how I felt with him... I kinda feel like I'll never love someone that much again. I miss what we had (but not him). And its like I'll never be fully satisfied with another relationship because I won't love them as much as I loved that first guy.
02-08-11, 10:27 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

For about 6 months everything was perfect, then things just started going wrong... the details really aren't important. For another 6 months it was up and down.

Perhaps they're more important than you think they are? How things ended can have a lot to do with why you are obsessing about this guy and not letting yourself be a vulnerable to another man the way you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to the ex.
02-08-11, 11:51 AM
Dank

Because he was your first love? and your telling your current boyfriend you love him but then your complaining? girl get a grip.
02-08-11, 08:13 PM
jb1111983

You don't miss him. You miss the feelings you had with him. You want those feelings back. This is not gonna happen with him coming back in your life. You love what the two of you were and not what's he's become. Trust me, even if you and he got back together you're never gonna love him the way you once did. What you had with him is gone. But you're wrong in thinking you'll never feel for any guy the way you felt for him. I can tell you this because I've been there. My first girlfriend, my first love, took me 5 years to get over her. I was sure she was the one and I was never gonna feel that way again for any girl. Then I met someone and everything changed. Now I'm in love with someone I think is the most wonderful girl I've ever known. And I'm actually glad it didn't work out with my first or I wouldn't have met this new girl ;) What happened to me will happen to you too but you must let go.
02-08-11, 08:44 PM
chirping

no... you'll meet others... you'll get your heart broken several more times... you'll break hearts too... you have a long way to go... enjoy the ride
03-08-11, 01:45 PM
confusius

I no longer believe in "the one". You make whoever you meet to become the one. So if you want, the next person can also become the one. The tricky part is the other may not try to make you "the one" for him.
03-08-11, 02:46 PM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella13 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

For about 6 months everything was perfect, then things just started going wrong... the details really aren't important.

I'll bet they are.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella13 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

so I'm over him.

Doesn't sound like it to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella13 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But I've never felt anything close to what I felt for him. I've never felt that connection with anyone. I've just not come close to how I felt with him... I kinda feel like I'll never love someone that much again. I miss what we had (but not him). And its like I'll never be fully satisfied with another relationship because I won't love them as much as I loved that first guy.

You will. Many many years ago, a woman ripped my heart out of my chest and ate it in front of me. I KNEW I'd never love like that again.

And I was as wrong as I could be.

He's out there for you. Be patient, and don't settle for "Mr. Right Now" while waiting for "Mr. Right."
03-08-11, 05:57 PM
maxmax

How old are you?

How many people have you 'loved'?

Maybe this guy was perfect for you then, and maybe even now, but you change and get older, and your priorities, thoughts, feelings change and mature too ... and before you know it, 'what am I doing with this person?'

Anyhow, just when you think one person can't be replaced, someone else comes along and blows that assumption out of the water. Remember that. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon ...

And there is no such thing as 'the one'.