A bit of an issue here...

Hello everyone...

I am dating an absolutely wonderful girl, she is very pretty and caring. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, I know she really likes me and cares for me. I try to play my part as a good boyfriend as hard as I can, I seem to do a good job. But we have some differences...

Last night it was her birthday and she is a real party girl (much more than me I should say), she has some hardcore party friends. Some of her friends were doing Coke at the party and I know she had some too. I am a clean guy, ofcourse I have some weed here and there and drinks but Cocaine is a really huge no no for me.

Now, I have to mention that she is not an addict she is just likes to have fun once in a while. Some of her friends are pretty heavy with serious drugs tho.

So how do I put the question? I do have a problem with what I saw last night and I feel that she has to know, its called honesty. On the other hand I am not a demanding guy so whatever I say to her must sound undemanding yet strong... or understanding but not soft.

And I really dont think that I should just go and say its either me or drugs... I dont want to put her into hard situation...

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Originally Posted by littlewing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do have a problem with what I saw last night and I feel that she has to know, its called honesty. On the other hand I am not a demanding guy so whatever I say to her must sound undemanding yet strong... or understanding but not soft.

And I really dont think that I should just go and say its either me or drugs... I dont want to put her into hard situation...

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How important is it to you? You're obviously concerned about her safety (or do you have some other motive for wanting her to stop?) What is your problem with it, exactly? What do you expect of her? If nothing, what exactly requires honesty? What would be an acceptable compromise?

You just need to be clear on all these questions before you bring it up. If you don't want to give her an ultimatum, I understand that, but ask yourself if this IS a deal-breaker, whether or not you want to admit it to her. If she says "thank you for your concern, but I can take care of myself", will you still want to be with her? If voicing your concerns for the sake of letting her know you care is enough, do that, but if you have expectations that she will respond a certain way, you have to make that clear to her.

I'm so glad I went here for an advice, thank you so much lovesjoyajm. Yeah I guess I really don't quite know what I want, never looked at it that way.

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How important is it to you? You're obviously concerned about her safety (or do you have some other motive for wanting her to stop?) What is your problem with it, exactly? What do you expect of her? If nothing, what exactly requires honesty? What would be an acceptable compromise?

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All I can say is that I have grown in surrounding where drugs are viewed very negatively, I know she doesn't see it my way since all her best friends take coke. It might even be that I have only lived here in Canada for 3.5 years and where I came from drugs are VERY bad. I was simply very uneasy watching what was going on last night. Maybe I can ask her to promise me not to take drugs consistently? Or maybe I can simply ask her not to do it when we are in a same place?

By honesty I met me being honest to her and admit that I was in an unsocial mood because of what I have seen and not just say I was tired or something