I said very very wrong words!!!

I am so desperate for the mistake I've made, and I really need your help to solve it...

Last time I posted about a friend who suddenly disappears. Now I've recieved her e-mail reply, but maybe I was too emotional about that, I sent her an e-mail which I find is very very wrong!!!

She told me many things in the e-mail, such as she has been very busy now and she lost her phone, and she is boring in the summer, but then she mentioned that she met her old crush! Here is what she said, "how's your summer so far? mine had been very boring but oh, good news, I ran into my old crush just like a month ago, he sort of changed a bit. I didn't say hi, nor did we talk to each other at all. I'm pathetic ain't I???"

I was surprised by her words, cuz she had never mentioned about her ex any more. I thought she might disappear for this, so I replied in the e-mail:

" It's great to hear your good news! I am really surprised about it! I guess we both encountered the same kind of the situation this summer! It is not pathetic at all for you not to talk with him. I guess it was just that you were too nervous, and that is very normal. But I suggest you should contact with him soon to figure out if the relationship can work out, and to grasp any chance for you to be with him again before it's too late. Don't follow in my footsteps, waiting her for such a long time only to find out that the things are not going to work out at all. I know it is really so uneasy to contact someone after no communication for a very long time, but as long as you can overcome the first step, you will find it is not so scary as you might think. I wish you all the best for the things to go very well! and I'll pray for you!"

Then, after a few days, I suddenly found out I was so wrong to write her this!!!!! Here are the reasons:

(1) She is very busy now, and it is absolutely wrong to write her such a long e-mail. She doesn't have enough time to read it!!!

(2) I havn't known her situation yet, so I shouldn't assume she wants to go back with her ex. She told me that 2 months ago, but the situation might be different now, then she might think I can't understand her at all...

(3) I should not mention about my things, cuz she would think I still can't move on from the past.

(4) This is the wrongest reason!!! I want to be with her, so why did I support her to go back to her ex????? Now how can I pursue her after saying those words to her? How can I let her know my true feelings in the future???

She hasn't replied my e-mail, and when I saw her on icq yesterday, she didn't talk to me at all!!! I guess it is really all my fault. I made her don't know how to response to me... I am really wrong. I don't know what to do to make the situation better. I really don't want to lose the chance... She is really the first girl I've fallen to in these two years, and she is really precious to me. So, I am really worried about the situation now. Please give me some suggestions! Thanx!

Nick :(

haha honestly i can say that i know exactly where you stand. for years, i've been chasing this girl...my good friend because i have always felt that i related to her in more ways than one. first of all, this isn't the wrongest thing that you could have done. you're only hoping for her best and you want her happiness so by all means you're going to support which ever decision she wants to make. secondly, i think that reguardless of her standpoint, SOON you should confess your feelings. i know that it will come of a surprize to her, but how long have you been keeping these feelings from her? don't you feel that it's better to have tried and lost then to have never tried at all? i know that's the way that i felt. keep me informed. raverboy

Hell yeah, it's a good idea to get all those feelings out there on the table. You never know what could turn up through that. Like I used to know this girl that I was really good friends with but I guess she fell in love with me and never said anything about it. While at the same time I started liking her a lot but through the fear of rejection didn't say a word. So a potential relationship was totally killed by fear and we didn't find out until years too late. Life is short my man, live it. Just get out there balls to the wall and tell her. If it's something she wanted or needed to hear, you're in. If it's not something she wants or needs right now, at least you had the courage to try and you can still salvage a good friendship out of that. Don't let it happen to you like it did to me and I didn't tell my true love (just recently) that I did in fact love her until it was too late and she disappeared from my life for a month. But that, my friends, is a different story. :wink: