She says she likes me, but is she just playing me? [long for detail's sake]
SORRY FOR THE BAD FORMAT, I ACTUALLY HAD THIS WRITTEN OUT ON A DIFFERENT WEBSITE AND THE PARAGRAPH SEPERATION WAS FINE, BUT WHEN I COPIED AND PASTED, IT GOT DISTORTED. I DON'T REALLY HAVE THE PATIENCE TO RE-EDIT THIS IN AN HTML TEXT BOX RIGHT NOW.
Hey people, I'm in a little squeeze here. There's this girl (young woman) whom I have just fallen in love
with over the past several months. She had a baby back in July with my friend
, but she really hurt him bad (cheating and what not, several times over several months) so he broke up with her (he let her walk all over him). I originally disliked her because of that stuff, but she started hanging out with us again. It started when she, her ex (my friend too), my ex (then my girlfriend, our relationship was failing and I was just holding off on breaking up) and another friend drove to Huntington Beach, CA, for a nice summer weekend.
We had brought with us a fifth of Vodka, and it was going to be only her second time drinking. I also got her to smoke for the first time (she only let me shotgun to her). Well, the others went off and did their own thing and it was just me, her, and her ex. We drank the whole thing without them :) and it hit us harder and faster than we had anticipated, so for some reason we "walked" (stumbled) our way to the beach. Then the tide started rising and we had to "crawl" away from the water. (it was so hard to stand up LOL) I ended up carrying her back to the car even though I could hardly walk myself, and her ex walked somewhere, idk where. Then we just started making out, for a good 15 - 20 minutes straight. A little feeling up too, but I'm somewhat of a gentleman, even when I'm drunk.
Still with me? I'm so sorry for my bad compression skills. Anyways. The next day I asked her about it and appologized and she said she didn't mind and that she had fun. I found out that she had even told a couple of her friends. Well, I started feeling something towards her but I didn't even know I liked her yet, I had my own relationship problems then.
Then towards the end of September, we got drunk again together and we made out and were just all over each other in front of her ex and some more friends...One thing I should tell you, she still isn't over him.....I drove her home and I told her I would walk back home and she gave me one more loooooonng good night kiss...and another hickie. I got about 100 yards from her house, convinced myself that I was lost, and went back to her house and asked if I could spend the night their, and I did. Next morning she let me sleep in and even made me breakfast. I was in denial then, I kept telling myself that I didn't like her.
Later that day my friend, her ex, let me know that he approved and even welcomed the idea of her dating me, saying that it would help to get her to let go of him. (she still loves him). I told him I didn't have feelings for her though, I was lying to him and myself. After about a week though, she completely took over my thoughts, we do more hanging out than I've let you know so far so I knew I had fallen in love, I gave in.
A couple weeks ago, I don't know why, but I spent almost an entire week at her house, helping out and such. We flirted so much those days, we even built a ginger bread house and took pictures of our ensuing frosting fight. I really started to bond with her son and he even smiles at me more than anyone except her, lol, I taught him to stick his tongue out at ppl. Now it's like I love him as if he were my own. I went with her and her Grandma to Ontario for 3 days to meet some family and friends. (she grew up there). I guess it was the way we looked and acted together and helped each other with the baby, but everybody thought I was the father and that we were together (some thought we were married) and she didn't correct them, which flattered me, A LOT. God, I'm welling up tears just writing this.
The last night we stayed there, and after watching some mindless Adult Swim shows on the bed together, I told her that I liked her a great deal. She smiled and told me she liked me too. And I'm not sure who started first, but we just started kissing so passionately. Just holding each other and kissing and tickling for the entire night. I told her things and experienced feelings that I had never had with anyone else, ever. She told me I was the only one who had told her she was beautiful or even made her happy since before she had the baby. The next morning I was just so freaking happy.
The next morning we went to visit her old friend whom she hadn't seen in 5 years, and it was evident they had some romantic history, but 5 YEARS, COME ON!!! But the way she introduced me to him was far from flattering..."This is my friend who sometimes helps with the baby." And she was all over him, snuggling and stuff, no kissing though. God I wanted to kill someone. I took her friend to the side and let him know the situation. "Look, I love this girl, and I don't know what you two may have had in the past, but you're engaged and live in Arizona now, and..." He stopped me and told me he could tell there was something between me and her and that he would step aside. He did still have feelings for her, but he knew he couldn't be with her anymore. Me and him actually talked for hours after that and we're pretty good friends now. He says he's glad that he has somebody like me to look out for her since, no offense to my friend, but I'm much more of a man than her ex is. He lets people, including her, walk all over him, I don't and I won't let anyone do that to her.
Now here's the problem, she made me feel hung out to dry that day, when she was doing everything you can do before you kiss each other with him. Also, she tells me that she does like me, but she's not over her ex yet, and she's not ready for a new relationship yet. I told her that I would wait for her because I love her, and I don't recall a defined response to that. Also, I think my psycho ex helped to scare her off too. She was so mad when she found out that I started liking this girl.
Some more info...I talked to her best friend, whom I'm also good friends with (she entrusts things with me and confides things in me too), and she told me that she does and doesn't like me, she just hasn't liked anybody new in over 3 years and adding me into her feelings has thrown her off balance...confused her. She told me that I really should talk to her about our would-be relationship, but to wait a while longer though, because she's going through some tough times herself right now.
I love her so much, I wish her baby was mine. She's on my mind all the time. Since Ontario, she hasn't really talked to me, I've reverted to sending her emails on Myspace, which she only reads and doesn't reply (I don't write her anymore though, in case she wants space). I talked to her tonight and asked if we could start hanging out some more and she said she'd like that, so I'm just unsure of where to go from here. Is she just playing me, or does she just not want to hurt my feelings? OR WHAT!? Or does she like me? Am I doing the right thing by waiting for her?
