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A Little ..Jealous?
Hi everyone.
I have an issue..with more of myself rather than my girlfriend. We were complete strangers no more than four months ago before she asked me to a dance. It only sparked from there and we are dating and might I said.. in love? Or so it feels that way :)
Anyways, she has a lot of guy friends, as any girl does. We just graduated from high school and she'll be going to another college quite far away from mine. That's not the issue though. Her guy friends are friends with me..somewhat...as well and I know she doesn't want anyone other than myself, we've established that after I've expressed my feelings about other guys texting her and getting pictures/arms around her, etc.
I know she doesn't want to be with any other guy, but I don't trust some of the other guys to keep their hands where they need to be. It irritates me, just bugs me to the bone when I see her getting hugs from other guys at graduation parties or an arm around her for a picture or whatever else. It's my insecurity and I'm trying my best to work on that, but I am in need of advice with fixing this. I cannot go on and have girlfriends if I feel this way every time. I don't want to keep her from her guy friends because I have girl friends (although I hardly ever hug or get pictures with them). And because I don't hardly ever do this it's hard for me to see why she does it through my own eyes.
I am in dire need of advice on how to cope with this and understand it and see it in her eyes.
All advice is appreciated. Thank you.
- Oh and as for the title "Jealous": It's not that I'm jealous, I just feel..horrible..absolutely awful..when I see other guys getting a hug or whatever.
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The problem is that you are falling in love, and any guy or the thought of a guy being near her is going to drive you crazy. Guess what, what you are feeling is normal......it's where your brain is at right now. To fix this is to bite the bullet and wait for it to pass.
Remember it's girls that control who they have sex with, not guys.....try as they might, she didn't choose them, she chose you.
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you really do love her and when guys love they get over protective and thats just what you are doing. now her going out with her guy friends is a trust thing. dont worry so much about where their hands are worry more about what shes doing. however if she loves you like she claims she does then she wont let them do anything. she will do the right thing. it will work itself out and be ok. i wish you luck though
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most girls treat their guy friends the same way they treat their girl friends. A lot of young women are naive and think they are "just friends" with these guys. They dont realize that a lot of the time, the only reason these guys want to be her friend is coz they are crushing on her but you probably have nothing to worry about. If all she does is hug them occasionally-its just her being friendly. You shouldnt worry unless shes meeting one of these guys alone and seems "too friendly" with him or if shes texting one in particular all the time.
Your infatuated by her right now and with infatuation comes anxiety and jealousy. Its normal. Itl take time for the trust to grow between you. You could try telling her though that you dont like it.
I used to hug everyone. Its just the way I am. if we went on a night out with all my friends and my bfs friends, Id hug them all when saying goodbye but one day my bf told me he doesnt like it when Im hugging his friends so I just stopped doing it. I was only being friendly but I didn't want to make him paranoid.
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I think jealousy is normal (especially at your age); the only thing I think fixes it is having enough time to develop a deep sense of trust in your partner. Just remember that you do not have to ACT upon your feelings; it is usually better to just act as though you don't have them.
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Your problem is love, It's normal for your age to get jealous to other guy.
You have to ask her and tell about what you feel.
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Thank you all for the advice. More is welcome. It helps.
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The OP is me..forgot my password, however.