Rocky Marriage and "old friend" back in life - HELP!
So my husband and I have been going through a tough time, and to make
a long story short we are not speaking and he is sleeping the couch.
Its been in the works, but now its all come full circle. He helps with
the kids when I need him to but other than that I feel like we are
"unofficially separated".
I ran into an old childhood friend last week who I hadn't see in 7
years ( since I met my husband - he made me end all friendships with
men when we started dating. I know- that should have been a clue) and
instantly we both went back to how things were with us like time never
passed. I met him the the 6th grade, he was in 7th. We grew up
together, he was my best friend through jr high and in high school we
both stayed friends but we always knew there was something more there
we never addressed. We never did anything phsyical, i think he tried
to hold my hand once but we were both scared to take the friendship to
the next level and neither of us had the balls to confront our
feelings that we both knew were there.
I've always thought of him and "what could have been". I am friends
with his sister and have kept "tabs" on him through the years but he
was kind and gracious enough to understand when I told him my now
husband was uncomfortable with our friendship- he took a step back and
let me live my life. Dont they say - "if you love something, set it
free? " thats what he did... and now " if it comes back to you it was
always yours" is what is going through my mind now since reconnecting
with him.
it's like no time has passed at all. I feel guilty with him texting me
and calling me when I'm on my way to and from work - times I'm not
home. But its nice to reconnect and yes, we both had admitted we
wished we had done things different back then and both regret not
taking that "next step".. Other than the time I ran into him last
week, I have not seen him but he wants to meet to catch up and talk.
He went through what I am going through in a previous relationship and
we both have been burned the same way - I really want to see him and
rekindle what we had, but I feel so guilty and wrong thinking about
it.
Granted, my husband is more a figure in the house with whom I am still
married to and have kids with and I dont take that lightly. I havent
been complimented by him in months, thanked, or appreciated for
anything I do for our family, and its nice to have that positive
attention from someone again. Is that wrong to want that, and be
craving it from my friend and enjoy all the attention again?
I know I shouldn't meet with him because I am married, but technically
we are friends catching up - yet we both know there's unspoken
attraction and feelings still lingering in the background. I am torn -
I know whats right and wrong but just dont want to feel guilty about
how things have happened - all innocently and unexpectedly in my
defense.
What are your thoughts? Thanks for your help.
Found Love in a Hopeless Place.. or Hopeless Case?
I don't want to be rude, but from the looks of it - you're on your way to getting a divorce. I hope there's a way for you both to save your marriage because separation can be quite a traumatic, emotional experience... and a costly one to boot. Divorce these days can cost more than $20K, if that's not enough burden already. The cost of working out a settlement and the wait can only add to the injury. If I were in your case, I'd rather seek mediation instead. Let's say I witnessed a close friend went through divorce hell so I'm sharing. I think there are online dispute resolution tools that can help you with this. I'm only aware of eQuibbly, ODR exchange and I bet there are plenty more out there. Just a friendly tip. The matters of the heart can mess up your good judgment. Good Luck ;)