Yes, I am jealous!

I just realized I am really jealous when I am in love with a girl.And I have taken this as a determinant factor to judge whether I am truly in love with a person or not.I have been in a relationship with girls before I never really loved and I never really gave a damn if they slept with the whole men in the universe;there was really no atom of jealousy from me towards them or their activities.But overtime I have come to realize that once I am really in love with a girl that atom of jealousy and possessiveness(don't mean taking control of the person) are always there.I find it difficult to take away jealousy from love because a scholar also once said "that one who is not jealous is not in love".Most people say it is a sign of insecurity but really the world in which we live today is also insecured and we need to be on guard.I am ready to get help if majority think my approach is wrong because my current girlfriend who l love so so much and who knows I am the jealous type is using it to get at me and almost turning me into a vegetable.Please honest and matured responses please.

You will DESTROY your relationship with jealousy. And yes, it is 200% a sign of major insecurity.

My advice is to simply chill the hell out. The whole scholarly justification crap is just that - crap. My ex girlfriend was the jealous and angry type and she always said, "A person who is never fights with you and never gets jealous does not love you."
That is absolute, grade A horse shit. H O R S E S H I T.

I'm so glad I got rid of her, because now I'm in a relationship with someone who happens to admire me and isn't jealous or possessive and I'm enjoying it much more! You will eventually scare your gf off with that attitude and she will resent you.

I was the jealous type when I was younger, then my girlfriends' jealousy taught me not be be jealous. Then I married a woman who was insanely jealous...for 12 years.
Then I started dating my fiancee, and I became jealous again because she is so gorgeous and smart, and I felt insecure. Over time, she made me feel secure by her
love, and I am not psycho jealous anymore. She likes it when I am "a little" possessive, as she likes the idea that she "belongs" to me.
She claims that she has no jealous bone in her body, but I suspect that is exaggerated. She gets kinda weird when I show kindness to my kids' mom (ex-wife).
A week ago, she asked if my ex has bigger boobs than hers. WTF?! I laughed. I think a little jealousy is good. Just don't reach the psycho level.

My girlfriend and I talk with each other about actors and actresses we think are attractive and that kind of neutralizes any forming jealousy. If we're at a bar and a guy hits on her, I don't really care unless he is rude and disrespectful. She usually has some good comeback lines and responses for those assholes, though. If she's deliberately trying to make you jealous, then you should stay away from her. I mean, if she's flirting with guys in front of you or something. In that case, jealousy is the natural response and it's actually your instincts telling you to get the hell away!

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My girlfriend and I talk with each other about actors and actresses we think are attractive and that kind of neutralizes any forming jealousy. If we're at a bar and a guy hits on her, I don't really care unless he is rude and disrespectful. She usually has some good comeback lines and responses for those assholes, though. If she's deliberately trying to make you jealous, then you should stay away from her. I mean, if she's flirting with guys in front of you or something. In that case, jealousy is the natural response and it's actually your instincts telling you to get the hell away!

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Of course with such kind of attitude from your girlfriend,she has given you every reason u can trust her.But how will you feel assuming you have a girl who willingly gives out her phone number to guys without hesitation and receive calls incessantly?When I query her,she tells me she doesn't know how they got it.I have told her this is a sign of disrespect to me as almost every Dick and Harry has her phone number.What makes me angry is that I have been in situations before where I hit up girls before.Some will tell me NO,I have a boyfriend and you can't get my number either.If some girls do this for their boyfriends,why can't my girl do the same sh*t for me?

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Of course with such kind of attitude from your girlfriend,she has given you every reason u can trust her.But how will you feel assuming you have a girl who willingly gives out her phone number to guys without hesitation and receive calls incessantly?When I query her,she tells me she doesn't know how they got it.I have told her this is a sign of disrespect to me as almost every Dick and Harry has her phone number.What makes me angry is that I have been in situations before where I hit up girls before.Some will tell me NO,I have a boyfriend and you can't get my number either.If some girls do this for their boyfriends,why can't my girl do the same sh*t for me?

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I gotta say that is very disrespectful towards you. My college girlfriend was a total flirt and I hated it. She learned how to say "I love you" in 12 languages so she could say it when we meet people of difference ethnicities. I was bothered by it, but I didn't get insanely jealous. She had big boobs, and liked to wear see-through summer dresses with no bra. I didn't mind it, but the stares we get were annoying. Finally she told me she wanted to go to a dorm bonfire where the girls could take off their top to show the boys. I said "that's it". If you are gonna disrespect me with this type of insane flirting crap, I am OUT! She completely changed after that, and ended up being a total prude. I broke up with her 3 years later because she acted like a nun.

I don't mind a guy showing a tad jealousy and in small doses to be honest because it shows he cares....to me anyway.

But there is a difference between showing a little and occasionally and being a raving, jealous, controlling psycho who follows his gf's every move, dictates where she goes and doesn't go, hates her friends, doesn't like her wearing this or that, etc, etc.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Of course with such kind of attitude from your girlfriend,she has given you every reason u can trust her.But how will you feel assuming you have a girl who willingly gives out her phone number to guys without hesitation and receive calls incessantly?When I query her,she tells me she doesn't know how they got it.I have told her this is a sign of disrespect to me as almost every Dick and Harry has her phone number.What makes me angry is that I have been in situations before where I hit up girls before.Some will tell me NO,I have a boyfriend and you can't get my number either.If some girls do this for their boyfriends,why can't my girl do the same sh*t for me?

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Well, if she went around giving her phone number out to any random dude, yeah that would bother me. On the other hand, my GF has a very guy-like personality and she doesn't get along well with other girls. So most of her friends are guys. That doesn't bother me one bit. I trust her a lot because she is a very honest and virtuous person. I also have a lot of female friends, because I tend to just get along with both sexes and I don't discriminate. She trusts me in return. This is a kind of balance that is needed to make a relationship work.