Really hurting today, can't forget him
Hi, I am brand new here...just broke up with my ex 3 nights ago. I just don't know how to forget about him. I feel like I'm trapped inside of a box and my life is over.
I met him online in September last year. We talked casually for a while until finally meeting at the end of November. I was crazy about him once I met him in person. Things progressively got more serious. He lived about an hour away, so we met on the weekends when we could. He had a bad habit of breaking plans at the last minute, as well as not giving me his cell phone number for the longest time, so I wasn't really sure how he felt about me. But the times that we chatted, he seemed totally into me. He would say some of the sweetest things.
Anyway, things changed drastically for the better on Super Bowl sunday. He called my cell phone from his cell phone, told me I now had his cell phone number. He hadn't given it to me because his phone was on his ex's phone plan. He also told me he just sent me a facebook request, and that was really huge to me also. He told me he had really missed me for the past couple of days and wanted to spend some time with me. He wanted me to pick him up the next day after work so he could spend the week.
I went out and got him the next night (Monday), and the next couple of days felt wonderful to me. He would clean the house while I was at work, call me a lot to tell me he missed me and wished I was there, and made me dinner. I have 3 kids, and he got along with them great too. We loved having him around. I had to drop him off at a hospital to meet his dad Thursday morning, but we were supposed to meet again Saturday, and he promised to pack better so he could stay longer. As we were getting ready to leave that morning, he told me that he didn't want to go. I told him I didn't want him to go either. As we drove out to the hospital, I asked him what he thought of me. He told me he considered me his girlfriend. I was ecstatic all day at work.
I got a couple messages from him that day (Thursday), the last one said to call him when I got off. I called him and he told me he had a really stressful day. He asked me to please call him later so he could talk about it, even if it woke him up. When I got home from picking up the kids, I checked my facebook. He had changed his status back to single, so I called him up kind of jokingly to figure out what was going on. He then told me his ex girlfriend had all his passwords and was doing that. As I talked to him, I then watched as I was removed from his facebook altogether. I asked him if he still had feelings for her. He told me he did, and my heart stopped. I told him that he needed to find out where they stood before we continued, before he broke my heart. (Too late, by the way...) I sent him a message later that night telling him I don't share basically. I let him know that I cared for him and that it was wrong for him to drop that information on me right as I thought he was mine.
When I was dating this guy, I had no idea an ex-girlfriend was in the picture. In january, he mentioned that he had an ex who might start calling me because she was jealous, couldn't take no for an answer, etc, but he assured me that they had broken up before we met and he had only been seeing me for the time we were dating. Even the ex confirmed that they hadn't seen each other for months. She lives in Florida, we lived in PA.
Anyyway, I foolishly called his ex on Friday night. She had left a nasty message on my answering machine for both of us saying we were sick. I let her know the basic situation, that I wasn't a sick person, and she had no right to call me. She let me know that her and this guy had been engaged after dating for 2 years and they were trying to work things out. She was surprised that he was on a dating site, etc, but again, she hadn't seen him for months. seh told me he was a liar, etc. I called him right after that to tell him how much he hurt me. He was on the other line with her. I then texted him to apologize for strirring up shit, and to please call me back. He did, and his words were, "This was all a horrible mistake. I'm moving back to Florida. Thanks."
I called him the next day to get him to at least tell me he had feelings for me while we were together. He said, honestly, I was drinking most of the time. I was like, you didn't enjoy being with me at all? He told me he didnt' have any answers for me right now. I said ok and good luck.
I can look at so many things and see how this wouldn't work. He obviously has been a drifter in his past, didn't have a job, but was a bartender by trade. He was undependable when it came to making plans. Apparently he drank too much, and he coudn't even drive, I'm guessing because of a DUI. But I loved being with him. He made me laugh. He was a gentleman to me. He was great with my kids. And I found him extremely attractive and appealing.
I just can't stop thinking about him right now. I wish our last week hadn't happened, because I think I fell in love with him this past week. Everything was so perfect to me, and it came crashing down. I miss feeling him next to me, sleeping next to him, miss our chats at night and his voice. I don't think I can get through this. I just don't get it. I can't think of him as a jerk. I can't believe this was all a lie. And I feel used, since we were intimate. WTF? I just wish I could forget about him. This week is going to be so hard. One week ago, I was going out there to get him to be with me. Now he's in Florida. :(((((( Thank you for reading this if you made it this far. I just had to share my story, in case it would help. My heart is so broke. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want him back.
