Curious about relationships with friends
I know we've seen a few such tales around here of late - people smitten or outright in love with good friends, sometimes even their best friends. A few times in my life, I've fallen for a good friend. I'm not sure if such a situation ever worked out the way I wanted it to (i.e., ending up with that person romantically).
I've always heard this "I don't want to ruin our friendship" thing. My thoughts on it, personally, is that it's a ruse. It's one used out of niceness and the desire to let one down gently, but a ruse nonetheless. I truly, honestly cannot fathom the person who would NOT want to fall in love with his or her best friend (of the preferred sex, of course). What else is there to do? Randomly walk into a bar and hope you meet someone who isn't a total creep? Expect blind probability to work out in your favour? Friends are the only people I would expect a sane person to WANT to date. You know each other. You know one another's likes and dislikes. You probably have lots of things in common. You can talk, you get along. It's basically all the things you'd want in a relationship (or at least, that *I* would want in a relationship, personally), minus the sexual involvement that comes with it.
So what do you think? Is "I don't want to ruin our friendship" just a crock? Is it a way of letting the person down gently, or have you ever said/heard it and believed it? If so, why do you feel that way? What makes a friendship go from "viable romance" to "too good to ruin"?