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Is she really worth it?
Hey, I'm in need of some serious relationship advice, here's my situation.
I've just moved out of home into this big "guest house" as they call it. Big building, heaps of young people pretty much. Anyway, I've become interested in this girl who lives upstairs. I'm 19, never had a gf before, shes 23, refuses to tell me about any past relationships, whether shes had any or not. Took me ages but I managed to hook up with her, and have been seeing her a few times a week since.
My problem is, I think I'm being used. I'm always the one knocking on her door, trying to initiate everything, pleasuring her, complimenting her. I'm not really sure if she actually appreciates it. I imagine it must be like making out with a dead person; when i hold her hand she never squeezes, she wont hug me, doesn't return my compliments, and often laughs at me when i make them.
On top of that she refuses to have sex, which i respect. We sometimes make out for about 3 hours, a lot of it is me playing with her nipples with my tongue. Her moaning seems to be a good enough indication that she enjoys it, but it sort of comes back to me feeling like I'm being used.
I'm just not sure if this relationship is worth pursuing, can someone shed some light on what is really happening here?
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Have you actually talked to her about it?
That would probably lead to either 1. She realizes how she has been behaving and promises to shape things up or 2. She'd might confess that this is nothing but a convenient and temporary leisure-relationship with no strings and no effort from her.
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Yeah I've tried that, I'm beginning to think the latter.
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What did she say about it?
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I think you're trying too hard, try backing off abit and make her miss you. Don't give her everthing she wants and don't make yourself available to her whenever she says so.
In the start of my relationship between me and my gf it was like yours. I would always give her compliments,try to make her happy but I'll never get anything in return.
A few weeks into the relationship she slowly started to change and now 2 years on we love each like crazy =).
Give your gf abit more time by not trying as hard and if that doesn't work have a talk with her.
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Hmmm...some good advices...let her misses you. Just don't initiate anything for atleast one week. See what will happen next.
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She doesn't sound attached to you at all and it definitely sounds like you're trying too hard.
However, I fail to see how you're being used when being the one initiating everything. You knock on her door, not the other way around. You get to mess with her body parts, so it seems more like she's being used more than you. You're getting something out of it ... sorta.
However, it doesn't sound like a real relationship and if you haven't made any progress intimately yet then I'd pursue other endeavors.
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Most young men would be happy to be 'used' like that. Enjoy the experience, make sure you use protection if it goes total. No problem.
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LOL! I agree with everyone else. Let her miss you, because she might realize what she has when it's gone. Even when she does come around and initiate something... don't give in so quick because then she'll get hip to the trick.
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You're wasting your time with her.
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If you have to ask the question in the first place, the answer is likely not the one you want to hear.
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she seems scandalous as ****. Don't wait on her hand and foot, impress her with demands and if that doesn't work, there are3.5 billion bust downs out there and it isn't worth being hung up on just one.