invaded my girlfriend's privacy...now what!? will she break up w/ me?
I've been dating this girl for about 2 - 3 months, and it's been pretty good. I've been very happy with her and i get the impression that she has been pretty happy too. just this past weekend we had a very wonderful weekend together, resting up from a mutual sickness and enjoying eachother's company. But yesterday all hell broke loose because of something i did...i kinda screwed up.
She is extremely messy and getting a new roommate in the next couple of weeks so i agreed to help her clean and organize her house, especially her room. We started 3 days previous together off to a good start. The next day i did some stuff while she was at work and she came home impressed and very appreciative. Yesterday though, i did some work while she was gone and went into a couple of drawers for cleaning. Apparently this was a big no-no, because she was taken aback. Upon rethinking this, i realized it's true, i did invade a bit of her privacy, and even though they were drawers we had opened together previously, she felt i should've waited till she got back to go back in. She said she felt very uncomfortable because no one had ever "Seen her room like you have now" and said that she felt a little violated. I apologized extensively and she said not to worry, that we wouldn't break up over this and she just felt really weird about it. But later that day when she arrived home, after we were both hanging out with our mutual friends and she started looking at the room for like 10 - 20 minutes she blew up. She yelled "where's my stamps" and yelled at me for something completely unrelated i said earlier to friends we had over about being a little homesick (I had been at her house for 4 or 5 days), eventually she stomped off, slammed her door and told me to leave. she didn't even really say bye to our friends. later i signed online and this is how convo went...
me: hey. just wanted to let you know i'm home and to say goodnight. and that i'm really really sorry and won't ever impose upon your room or organization again and hope you feel better soon, like about everything - work too. and that yeah i miss sf sometimes - it's my home, but when i'm here i miss berkely more. it's natural to get homesick, try not to take that the wrong way
her: ARON GO AWAY. IF YOU THINK IT'S ALL OK YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THINK COMING. YOU TELL ME YOU HATE YOUR HOME. DONT EVER COME OVER HERE AGAIN. OK?!
me: sonya...
her: SHUT THE f*** UP
and she signed off. all sorts of things are happening now. she posted a blog entry saying her friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend "might have had the right idea" and "is the grass is always greener on the other side?" I also heard she's going "blues" dancing tomorrow which is extremely uncharacteristic of her because she's always said that she didn't do blues dancing because it was too "sensual"
this isn't the first time i've screwed up. but in the past our short rough spots were always just me making a mistake. hitting her accidentally while wrestling, or making a joke that she'd take seriously. They have never evolved into arguments because I've always admitted i was wrong, apologized excessively and showered her with stuff in the aftermath; flowers, presents, etc. I've never treated a girl as good as i treat her. even the sex is more loving and mutual than any other relationship i've been in. And we have a ton of things planned in the near future that we already have tickets for: concerts (one in two days!), a vacation across the country and a wedding to attend. But from the sound of things, i feel like she may be breaking up with me within the next couple days...
what's more, part of me is wondering if she really is worth it? the way she snapped at me was kinda scary. i've treated her so well - the only problems were accidents and i never once argued back with her, but all of a sudden she seemed to pounce on me like i was an enemy. I feel a little scared of her now... she's admitted that she has trust issues, and has been known to have quite a temper with mutual friends (and even with me, back when we were friends)
I'm going out of my mind, can't even really sleep, and don't know what to do. I've recorded myself playing a "sorry" song and sent it to her, and bought her flowers and candies earlier today but none of that seems to matter (even though it usually does; this is a girl who admits that buying her things makes her get over issues), so what can i do to keep her? should I be trying at all if i'm a little scared by how ruthlessly she turned on me? how much space should i give her? we have a concert to attend together on friday.
Any or all comments or advice anyone could give would be sooo very appreciated... :(
