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should we get married?
My boyfriend and I have been dating two years and three months today. We recently had family problems on his side. I wont go into details but it was bad. Now his family does not want us to see each other. Most of our relationship has been from a far distance since we both lived in different states for awhile. I actually ended up moving a lot closer to him because I enrolled in one of the Penn State campus in PA. Although I am still two hours away from him,but it a lot better than seven hours. Due to certain circumstances he doesn't live on his own (lives with his family).
We tried to think of different ways to possibly stay together and not have his family always trying to tell us to break up. I guess out of desperation I suggested we get married, though I didn't it was an actually possibility. He totally surprised me when he said we should get married with any hesitation. We both always talked about how we would end up getting married and starting a family but we wanted to wait until we both graduated college and started on our careers.
Although we would only be getting married legally and then later on through the church..I'm trying to figure out if we should even try this or would it just make things worse.
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You should not. You are, imo, considering this very serious step for the wrong reasons. Why would the legal "blessings" of what should be an uninvolved 3rd party(the state) fix anything in the eyes of his family? If you two are barely holding on now, don't count on a marriage license fixing anything.
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Yea, why would getting legally married solve the family issues? I mean, I get that if you two move in together (which means he would be moving out of his family's home) might help with getting the family members off his back. But that would mean that at least one of you have to have a stable source of income for the moving out.Or else things might be very difficult for both of you, financially.
Can you share with us why his family doesn't want you two together? Maybe you two work together to solve those issues with the family? Family shouldn't be the one who decides who you should be with or else you might as well be in an arranged marriage. But at least try to make things better considering his family will always be there.
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I agree that getting married won't fix the issue. And I too want to know more about why his family doesn't want the two of you together. The extra information could help us advise you better.
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You don't get married when you hardly know each other never mind just because you think it will solve family disapproval.
Who pays for your University tuition?
Do either of you work?
Have you been able to spend more then on-line time with one another? Most of your relationship has been long distance so you're basing your infatuation with one another on fantasy and words without actions to back them up as truths.
Are you of a culture that chooses who you should marry?