My Broken Love Story

Who do I love? Even through all my pain and my few relationships I have feelings for someone I have never dated, someone I will never date. Her name is Emily, and this is our story.

When I first met Emily it was at my cousins birthday party in 2010, at the time I had only looked upon her with my eyes, and taking in that she was one of the most gorgeous people I have ever met. At this first occasion we had barley talked but i had learned a few things already. She and her brother were speaking of star wars, already grabbing my attention, then the gaming continued and over the blaze of gunfire on the tv I could hear what could only be described as one of the most adorable laughs to ever have graced my ears.

With this beautiful noise my attention was instantaneously caught. I smiled at her laugh and incurred " what's so funny?" and im not lying, as she looked up and our eyes caught, time stopped for one moment and I saw just her beautiful eyes. They seemed to wash over you in a warm happy feeling and let you know you can do whatever and she would still care about you.

"I'm looking at rage comics, and they're so halarious!" She replied as I finally came out of the trance. So with that she came and sat by me to show me and as she showed me the rage comics and I heard her giggle I felt like it was just me and her in the room at the time, but I could not make any moves or try to talk to her because I had just met this amazing girl in my cousins house and the girls family was friends with my cousins. That is just a no no.

After I went home she kept eating at my mind, I needed to talk to her and find out who she was but all I knew was her name, Emily. So I summed up all my courage and looked her up on Facebook. There she was, on my computer screen, just a click away. I added her without a second thought and messaged her one simple message, "hey".

Within a few hours she added me and messaged back "hey" but sadly enough this is where we had only a few more passes of words before we stopped talking for about 2 years. In those two years my life had a few ups and many, many downs. Finally in 2012 at the beginning of the school year I essayed her again asking how she was and this time our conversation was brought to life. We talked about the most insane things relating from leprechauns to unicorns to colors of hair to video games, and everything else, for the next 5months.

Over the course of those five months I fell in love with Emily, and from her personality to her jokes to her adorable Ness and kindness. At this point I had been summing up the courage to say the dreaded 4 letter word but as I would be about to, I would have to stop myself. Why? Because for two reasons 1 she lived too far away 2 she was only in 8th grade. I'm a romantic and eventually I could no longer hide it, we were saying we cared about each other and had already told each other our darkest secrets and finally I confessed my love for her and her for me. I was beyond happy and for the next couple weeks we talked even more and said we loved each other. Even though I was not physically with her, I knew I loved her and I wanted to be with her but I would never confess this. Emily had been explaining for a while that she had been liking this guy then he finally asked her out..

She told me and at first I felt my chest hurt, and realized that I was feeling literal heartache because she had someone, and that meant this, whatever friend love this was, and was over. I want her to be happy, and so I td her "Yay!" so she wouldn't feel bad and they have been dating now for a bit, but what she didn't know is that when I said that, it started a constant sadness that has not ended. She talks to me less, and almost not at all, and my depression has gotten worse, to the point where I write this pitiful story about us. Our friendship, best friendship, then about our inevitable end. I have not written every detail for to do so I could fill hundreds of pages with our late night talks, our constant texts, and our 9hour phone call or many other long phone calls.

As much as I wish it weren't true, I feel as though we are drifting apart and we will never be the same. I can always hope for more but I've frankly lost hope. So I leave this to the reader