Best way to tell a potential partner you have an upper limit on ex partners?
Let me try to explain before anyone thinks that I'm being judgemental, I understand that it is not ideal but it comes from some severely traumatic experiences with previous girlfriends. I understand that "not all women are like that". Im just completely unprepared to ever go through anything like that again. When someone cheats on you and comes back acting as if nothing has happened is a violation of someones reality and forces them to engage in a relationship that they would not otherwise.
I don't want to ever bluntly ask a girl that question of how many pervious partners as it seems to be completely taboo to as a woman that question. I have never had a guy take more than a moment to answer that question and to this day I have never heard a woman do the same. I'm not being critical here, it just seems that its very private to women.
The reason I am concerned is that there is a certain peak at which the number of sexual partners correlates with failed relationships and marriages. I would also like to find a woman who has a similar sexual appetite for good compatibility, otherwise we both risk being unsatisfied. I think the ideal would be a woman with a similar number of ex partners but maybe a few less to account for the 7x less testosterone.
Im sort of looking for a way to tactfully say that my upper limit is x Im not trying to make any negative judgement, I have just made the decision to be overtly cautious and I understand that that might mean loosing someone who is perfectly wonderful.
The other problem seems to be that all of these past girlfriends were told in no uncertain terms that infidelity would be an instant end to our relationship the moment that it happened and that it was perfectly acceptable if they didn't even feel like telling me. If they didn't reply to my text that would be that, I wouldn't bother them again. However they all came back, so I am stuck in the dilemma of trying to find a way around this problem?
Thanks