Long term relationship help
I met my first love when i was 14. We were together until last year and broke up, when we were 18. She went off to college and things just got too stressful. I felt mistreated, as did she.
We didn't speak that summer when she came home and then in October I got an email from her. She was unhappy and wanted me back in her life. I couldn't turn down the girl I had invested 4 years in, so we began talking again and we got back together last month.
I understand the breakup was necessary to allow each other to grow, because we had been together from such a young age that we couldnt really do that ourselves.
The problem for me is that I was reluctant to get back together with her. We spent the summer doing different things. I just worked and tried to get over the breakup and learn more about myself. She, on the other hand, made lots of bad choices, met some guys, etc. Now that we're back together, I feel very resentful at time. This is probably immature of me, but I cant help it. When we broke up, my trust was violated, and I'm a very private person and I choose to keep very small company, so it really impacted me. It hurt that the most important person in my life gave up on me so easily after I had done so much for her and always been there for her. She didnt cheat on me, but she confided in a guy she had just met, and I'm sure there were feelings. Now that we are back together, she is still friends with him. It bothers me because the bullshit that took place between the 3 of us last year is no basis for a friendship, so i dont understand why she decided to hang onto that.
Anyways, I try my best to focus on the present, but too much happened during our breakup and over the summer for me to ignore. I love her and WANT to trust her, but I don't give my trust out easily and I don't know how to forgive.
I was doing well when I was single, but I felt isolated. She's the only person I know who really knows me, and the only person I can tell everything to, but now I am hesitant.
How do I love the girl that already broke my heart? Or, should i?
