thOugh WE are nOt meant to be lOvers

So HOw did u Meet ur FIrst love? WEll for me i met him on the internet.....(lol) stupid huh? well u know it is back then when ur 13-14 years old...you know nothing about love....see someone cute and say u love them.....or just hop on the net and starting chatting giving out ur # and stuff like that....well that is how i was back then when i was 14 or just turn 14.....

Well how i met him ...i was on hmonginternet i think ...its a while back then ...i was soo bored so i went online and there was no name that intersted in...so this one name pop in...i forgot......well yea i ask for his 411...all that stuff...we didn't chat for long but then he told me that he had to go so he ask for my #...i dunno what happen to me but usually when guys ask for my # i would give out fake #..so somehow i decide to give out my real #.......he told me he'll call....
later that nice i thought that he wouldn't call since all net guys are gay..they never call like they say .....i was asleep and my bro was yelling at me to talk on the phone...shock as i was....no one calls me at night....sounding all gay i pick up the phone and in room and say "hello"......blah blah blah blah ...and i guess i was too tired to told him to back tomorrow..

days pass and he hasn't call....then one night i went to sleep and my bro was yelling at me to pick up the phone....hmmm thinking to myself who it was it was him.....that night we talk for a long time....he was telling me how he and his ex broke up and blah blah blah ....all that stuff...yeah then he ask me out....(i was just like sure yes...u know what i mean....back then ...dating over the phone and all that sutff...) heheheh.......

i guess the calls me every night...talking about how he loves me and miss me and same as i said back to him....well that went on for a while....having no clue how he looks like....

One day he told me that he wants to come and see me.....he was only 16 at the time so he told me that his cussion is going to take him to see me...(since he is from stp mn)nawww i guess he never made it...

i dunno what happen..i guess somehow just felt inlove wid his voice only...(hjehe i think that is funnie now)he probably did the same......then it was about three months that we been talking to each and finally i got his pic......(awwwwww runnnnn) he was not that bad but was not as i thought he was to be...well yeah i didn't really care...i was too inlove wid him.....by phone....so yeah we still keep on talking and he hasn't come and see me in person yet......

as the time went back he just stop calling....so i guess i call back to see wassup wid him and he told me that his dad has cancel their longdistance since he talk on the phone too much and the phone bill came up to $600 and i just have to wait for his calls when he has a phone card...

Not talking to him made me cry every single night thinking that he doesn't love me and that is why he don't call me no more......
I wouldn't be ablt to sleep eat or do whatever.....

then i was on april 1 and he call me very early in the morning...saying that he is sick and everything....screaming in the phone that he misses me....then somehow he begin asking me all these ? about breaking up ...then before he hang up he told me that we should just be friends...i thought that he was just playing since it was april fools ...so i went wid the flow and yeah ..we hang up ....

later that day i try to call him but no he was not home....i guess i miss him too much...trying to call him day in and day out.....

*this one night i had a dream and it was him and me...i was walking and i saw him wid this one girl..i walk up to him and ask him what he was doing...he told me not to talk to himand he walk away...i follow him and wee seem to climb a long stair way and he just shuts the door behind me when he got to the top of the stairs..i beg him to open the door but he didn't...i could see him sitting right here but somhow there seem to be a door..i just coudn't get in....*

the next moring
i decided to email him since i couldn't get a hold of him and had that dream...but i got a mail from him... already .....when i went and check it is say..."about thebreaking up thing its true.. i just wanna be single for now single life is hard"
when i finish reading that email..i tears was in my eyes i can't believe that i has happen ....he had broke up wid me for reals....
(i guess dreams do come true or at lease is giving u clues that thing are going to happen.....

days went by and i was soo lonely....i couldn't do anything......i would just cry constantly...day in and day out ....i would jsut sit all day in my room and look out the window......i wish he would just open up his heart and give me one more chance but i guess in my dreams he close the door...i've ask him to open but he wouldn't....so that is probably why he is not opeing he heart to me no matter how much i wanted him too....i will never get a chance from him...

ever since we broke up and i was really never had a chance to experinece whatllove is phscialy but i did it by mentaly...i tell myself to move on ...and so i did ....he is my first love mentaly only and i know i love himfor some reason...maybe he was the first guy that kinda lead me to the world of love just didn't hold my hand and walk me throught the world of love,

its been years now but i still keep intouch wid him..he calls me one of his old friend only.....and he calls himself to me as one of my old friends.....too so i guess he really never clams me as i'm his ex....o well its koOl...
THough when we are so call going out we never got the chance to hang together but now that we are friends we have kick chill and got in too troubles together..........

But i know once love him...ehehe
*now i think dating guys frOm the NEt is ONly Low LIfe......* straight UP ...


thOUgh we are nOt ment to be lOVers we are ment to be FRiends soMe how....



by miss_mai