Immature Relationship

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26-04-08, 12:13 AM
dpznz

Immature Relationship

A friend of mine just found a new gf and has changed so much since. He has settled down (from having a Have fun everyweekend, Loyal to all friends ect look on life) which is fair enough, but they have since made changes to their 'love' relationship which I belive are very immature and they now have a terrible relationship thats affecting a lot of people. His gf was friends with a group of guys, and one of them liked her more as a friend. I think this triggered their change because my mate got annoyed about this guy liking his gf.. To stop him from liking her she has pushed away that group of guys who she was really good mates with, and now pretty much only has her bf. He has also decided to 'not socialize' with ANY members of the opposite sex whatsoever.. (They have removed opposite members of sex from there top friends list on bebo ect, they are taking it way to far..) So MY best friend who is a girl, was a very close friend to my mate, and has been his friend for a longer time then I have known him (nothing but friends). She is upset because he has pushed her away completely, ignoring her, not talking to her and not even acknowledging she is present. Me and my best friend have a relationship but are not currently bf/gf (We are now back to normal and are very happy). This is so unfair because about not awhile ago he made a comment to my best friend "He (me) is making you so sad and you are pushing away your friends and I dont like it" This is completly hypocritical is it not? We are so angry at them because they have decided to do this..

Their Relationship is like this:
- No socializing with opposite members of same sex (This apparently means they are %100 loyal to each other" This means they are commited to each other. They make sure they ask each other if they can go out blah blah blah

It seems very stupid to me because I know they have one of those young immature relationships built on lust and attraction.. I know they arn't going to last.

It is effecting a lot of people expecially our once tight group of friends. Should I bother to see my mate even though he is able to push away my best friend and remove her from his life after being so caring of her (as a friend).. What kind of person is he? I don't think i should bother making an effort to do anything with him. They will loose all of us friends eventually.

Is there any advice on how to talk to this couple?
I have explained to them what I can but they are pretty stubborn and are sticking with their ways..

Am I even right to be thinking this? Or is their relationship a good one?

Hope the story wasn't to confusing. Thanks
26-04-08, 12:38 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by dpznz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It seems very stupid to me because I know they have one of those young immature relationships built on lust and attraction.. I know they arn't going to last.

I have a single friend who drops off our radar when seeing someone new. Its pretty typical. After a while they either breakup or start to resurface & remember there is a whole world out there outside of their relationship. Takes a few months. Oh & about friends: 'the ones that mind don't matter & the ones that matter don't mind'.

They are just going thru a phase, as you say. As one gets older, you learn to be more balanced in relationships & don't let them take over your life. It will pass.

Quote:

They will loose all of us friends eventually.

See my above quote about friends who understand & those who don't.

Quote:

Is there any advice on how to talk to this couple?
I have explained to them what I can but they are pretty stubborn and are sticking with their ways.

Sounds like you've already given your opinion. That is enough. Let them figure this out for themselves & try not to be too dependent on friends for your own gratification. You're taking this far too much to heart, IMO. Relax.
26-04-08, 03:03 AM
luvispower

i think every couple has their own way of being together. if they choose to put more effort in their love than in their friendships, let them be. if you really wanna try, I think suggesting them to know each other's friends and go out 2gether every time, would be the best solution.
26-04-08, 04:42 AM
sticko

Honestly, there really is nothing you can do in this situation.

I think the best way to go about this is to hang 2 at a time, or just wait for it to wear off.

I understand your discomfort on the whole thing, but quite honestly, they have a very "SAFE" relationship going. And if there both the jealous type, they probably feel extremely secure in this little shell. I say, respect there decision for the time being, they're probably happy right now. :\
26-04-08, 05:04 AM
Junket

They don't sound happy at all.

But don't worry, it'll all end eventually.
26-04-08, 08:01 AM
dpznz

This is what he recently said to my best friend in a text..

Im not hanging out with any members of the same sex, that includes you. By doing this there is no chance of jeopordizing the relationship..

How would him hanging out with her jeopordize him and his gf relationship? She was only a friend and had been for years, now he has thrown her out of his life.. There is the same chance as me jeopordizing their relationship as there is my best friend! He wont let his gf hang out with her girl mates anymore either because he didn't like them.

It's kinda hard not to mind because we have been friends for so long and he has removed her from his life. Makes her upset because she feels worthless and feels like was she really ever his friend? After years of their friendship..
26-04-08, 09:41 AM
Gigabitch

This is a blip. Leave it alone and it will implode. Don't stick yourself in the middle of it.
26-04-08, 03:36 PM
Only-virgins

Quote:

Originally Posted by dpznz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It seems very stupid to me because I know they have one of those young immature relationships built on lust and attraction.. I know they arn't going to last.

What are you jealous? Most people typically stop seeing their friends for a while when they get into relationships. What do you know about immaturity? lust? and attraction for that matter?
26-04-08, 03:44 PM
Asparagoose

Quote:

Originally Posted by dpznz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Their Relationship is like this:
- No socializing with opposite members of same sex (This apparently means they are %100 loyal to each other" This means they are commited to each other. They make sure they ask each other if they can go out blah blah blah

This sounds like one of them has some deep trust issues. You should let your friend know that it's not fair to your relationship and friendship to let someone come in and destroy what you have. That's not love, that's insecurity. What happens if things go bad? Isn't it a shame to have to choose between your friends and a love? If it's love, and both people are secure, there's no need for any sacrafice. You have a right to let your friend know. You're only telling them because it matters to you. Let them know that, maybe they'll get it.
26-04-08, 07:44 PM
dpznz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What are you jealous? Most people typically stop seeing their friends for a while when they get into relationships. What do you know about immaturity? lust? and attraction for that matter?

No im not jealous, they just have a relationship I belive from my own experience, that is immature.. Are they really in love? When they venture to the bedroom every chance that is possible? I don't know much and am not saying i do, but I have been in a relationship similar and I know i did not love that person..

I know people stop seeing their friends for a while, but they don't remove them from their lives and not acknowledge they exist..
26-04-08, 11:47 PM
Only-virgins

Quote:

Originally Posted by dpznz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No im not jealous, they just have a relationship I belive from my own experience, that is immature.. Are they really in love? When they venture to the bedroom every chance that is possible? I don't know much and am not saying i do, but I have been in a relationship similar and I know i did not love that person..

I know people stop seeing their friends for a while, but they don't remove them from their lives and not acknowledge they exist..

I think it is jealousy, it is as if you can't find some other friends or things to keep you busy. I think you have no right to interrupt and intervene in anyone else's relationships. Even if you believe they are immature. In-fact that is the immature thing to do. If you believe that their relationship is immature and will not last than let cause and effect takes it place and let their relationship fall naturally like you believe it will. On another note, I would love to hit the bedroom every chance I get with my girlfriend.