How to deal with early relationship anxiety?
I started seeing this girl over a month ago, I had been single for over a year, and her about 6 weeks (and coming out of a bad relationship). I decided after my last relationship there was no more casual dating, I was going to wait until I found a girl that had potential for long term, and I think I have. We hung out for several weeks before I decided to ask her out in order to determine if she was what I wanted. I'm 26, shes 23.
I am experiencing something I've never experienced before - major anxiety. This relationship started out VERY fast from an emotional standpoint (we even had a couple of sex-free sleepovers), and about 1 week in we decided to slow it down and do it properly. So we've reduced hangouts from every day to 3-4 times a week, and we haven't had sex yet, which is ok, we talked about it and she told me I just have to wait until shes ready (shes not a virgin, just wants to go slow).
This girl has told me she wants to be with me, that I am what she wants, she calls me every night we don't see each other, she does everything right from an early relationship standpoint. We work opposite shifts and she has a new puppy, so I know she is busy. The times we do hang out have been cut down a bit too, from all day on weekends to usually a few hours on Saturday, etc.
We've met each other parents now, most of our friends, the foundation for a serious relationship is in place.
My anxiety started when we slowed down, but seems to get worse as time goes on, I analyze everything, this week we only saw each other twice because she was tired, and her text messages were completely dry. She declined to hang out once because she wanted to relax. That said, she still calls at least once a night. I get the feeling that she is distant, but I think its my mind over thinking simple things. I have the urge to be needy and clingy, but I fight it off as its not something I've ever been before. I find myself wanting to call or text to chat, but decide that I need to keep it to once a day tops in order to seem as casual as she is. One day when she was clearly distant I asked her what was up and it turns out her ex sent her a nasty text message the day she told him she was seeing me.
I find that I'm way over-anxious about the whole thing, that she will find someone better, that she is bored with me, etc.
I haven't shown or told her any of this, I'm usually a very confident guy and continue to appear so. Everything is happening in my mind.
I think its because I like her so much this is happening. Is early relationship anxiety normal? How do I deal with it? I have lots of hobbies and friends, I tend to be busy whenever we're not together, but when I'm in bed or alone it bombards my mind.
