I am smart enough to discount most anomalies and coincidences in life, I dont believe in God, I dont believe in much....but strange things have happened since I accepted I am without her forever. And I really am. I cringe now when I think of her. My heart hasnt really healed but it is what it is.
The other day I was adjusting my dresser drawer (its old and wood) and my 42 inch TV came off the dresser like it had legs of its own and smashed. Her and I bought that TV. Well I paid for it but it was for us. Today, while watching Netflix on my PS3, it died. We bought that together too. And it is done.
Its a weird feeling, like the Universe is telling to me to let go even more. Is there even more to let go?
She told me she is happy without me and to leave her alone. But she still emails me weird uncalled for updates about kids, rain, treetops, etc. Really random stuff.
I am very happy to be ME now. But I am not sure what she is doing. Yeah, it hurts too! Mute reminders hurt...her name in my blackberry. Its just life. I am 40 on Monday. 40!!! Wow.
Does life start anew at 40? And why does 40 sound so old? Lol!
Todd