married and confused:( :(
Hi all, I am new here and trying to work out some issues and any help would be great.
Here is the situation: I have been married for 10yrs, w/ 2 great kids. My wife has manic depressive/ bipoler which I knew going in. Yet for the past 10yrs she has had nothing but illness and surgerys. Most recently she has been diagnosed w/ fibromyalga. Now I do love her and have never thought about any one else untill a couple of months ago.
This is where it gets confusing: a couple of years ago my wife and I went though a time where she had an emotional affair on me, we did the councleing thing and worked it out. But during that time I reconneted with an old friend that I had a crush on back in school, no big deal untill she stoped by a few months ago (right before my wife was diagnosed). At time my wife could see that I still have feelings for this gal (this was after not seeing her for 17yrs). Now we never dated or anything, we are just realy good friends. Shortly after that this gal had said that she had a crush on me when I did for her.
My wife used to be and was just like this other gal, very active, out going and willing to try. Since all her problems she just wants to give up. I have talked with her about it all she says is "I'll try".
This other gal is in a relationship, but not engaged or married. I have told her my feelings for her, and we still talk, but it is not like it used to be. I think she does not want to ruin my marriage because of her. She even has ask me what is so wrong that I would turn to her. I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying. My wife and I are going to councling in Jan and I plan on going on my own as well.
I just cant get this other gal out of my head or heart and dont want lose her as a friend either. I feel more at ease around her than I do around my own wife. There is alot more just not enough time. any help would be great.