I am not new to dating, just new to relationships. My boyfriend, Shawn, and I have technically been "seeing" each other since February, but only on a casual, somewhat more "friends with benefits" way. We only decided to turn it exclusive 1 month ago yesterday.
I was the one to suggest changing the relationship to being exclusive, though I knew it was also what he wanted. We were both getting bored with the way things were. Now that we are in a relationship, however, I have realized what I was missing, and also realized I am falling hard for him.
Shawn is an absolute sweetheart to me. He treats me like a princess. He is perhaps a bit more tradional then I am used to (I prefer going dutch, he wants to do everything for me), but not in a bad way. We may not always agree, but we always find a compromise, and if we argue, will eventually kiss and make up. We have both been there for the other during times of stress and trial, throughout our friendship and just in this past month as well.
Over the summer, before we started our relationship officially (actually, during one of our "breaks" between dating or anything at all), my Step-brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. Shawn and I work at the same place, and he happened to be there when I found out. Even though I was the one who had put us on the "break", Shawn was still there for me as a friend, and let me cry into his shoulder for a while, consoling me till I calmed down enough to return to work.
Shawn recently got promoted at work, and ended up in one week working 13-14 hour shifts for almost 7 days in a row. Combining that with the fact that I had been a week late, and we were going through a bit of a pregnancy scare (I am not, btw). He was more stressed then he had been in years, and still, we got through it together. I was there for him every step of the way, even just offer help in any way I could, or a massage when his muscles ached from work.
Two days ago, the day before our one month anniversary, I was "attacked" in class. I am a science major, and my lab partner and I were in the woods studying the trees. I fell, and instead of helping me up, my lab partner got on top of me, pinning my legs down so I couldnt get up, and forced his tongue into my mouth. I shoved him off once the initial shock wore off, but I freaked out the entire hour drive home. I went straight to Shawns house, and told him what happened, afraid he would call me a cheater or break up with me. I felt like I had cheated, since it took me a moment to push the guy away (though I realize now I was freaked out, shocked, and it wasnt my fault). Instead, Shawn hugged me tight, talked me down, (and offered to hunt the boy down, of course. He is my protector).
I realized after that particular incident, I no longer just "Like" Shawn. I may be "in love" with him. I feel safe with him, and yet there is no lack for excitement or lust. But I also feel like perhaps it is because the relationship is so new, and I dont want to say it based on endorphines alone. And I do not want to jump the gun, say it, and have him freak out. Is one month to early to tell someone you love them, even with all that we have been through together?
