Girl i have feelings for went back to her violent boyfriend...need advice!

met this girl who just came here 8month ago. she didn't have much friends. I liked her from the first time we met but at that time she had a boy friend. so I kept my distance.

one day I found out she got hit by her boyfriend who was nearly 10yrs older then her. I got really furious and I felt the pain so I started seeing her. I think it was my compassion that pushed me into loving her so much so quickly, I gave her my all from just knowing her for a month. I know she didn't have feelings for me. how can she if she's just been through something like that? I understood that so I never cross the line. I really felt a connection with her knowing what she wanted before she spoke, knowing what she's thinking, there was a lot of "OMG how you know that" moments and we got a lot in common.

she did report this attack to the police and went to court twice. I spent many days helping her out with the police report and the courts. spent nearly everyday of the last 2month with her to make her feel better. we text none stop every day. she gotten better started smiling and joked more but one day she just stopped answering my text. I had this gut feeling 1 week back that something is happening with her. my connection was so strong I could tell by looking at her eyes if she's telling the truth or not but didn't want to think about it. now I know she's gone back to her ex who she took out a court order. She lied to my face about why she didn't answer my text and calls. She lied to my face about who she's texting when we were out at dinner and movies. I could see it but at the time I thought it was some new guy. which I could at least accept her choice.

Now I'm sure she's back with her ex who attacked her and who I gave it my all to help her get over. I felt so betrayed, I dragged her out from hell then she stabs me in the heart and pushed me back in. but also understand why she made that choice because I still wanted her after I known. I had support from many awesome friends and family to get me through this and clear my head. She didn't. her best friend here actually told her to get back with him if she still loves him during the 2nd court hearing!?

i kinda blaming my self for confessing my feelings so early but it made her happy knowing some one loves her that much. she told me that. I ate my pride and lower my self in-front of her to make her feel better. even though I'm a guy who has a lot of pride, friends would call me Mr right who has it all...money, sweetness,humor,looks and would love a girl to death. she choose some one who had none of that, which hurt my ego a lot.

now I want to cut ties and move on. but I'm still worried because she's got no one here that's true to her. she's digging her own grave because once a man hits a woman he will certainly do it again. especially when they've only been together for 2-3month which suppose to be the peak period of a relationship. my brain is telling me to cut all but my heart is telling me to watch her from a distance and give her a helping hand later... what should i do?

Move on you cant help some1 who does not want your help

She has battered woman syndrome. The relationship is toxic but it's like an addiction they can't get out of. You should have never been emotionally involved with a woman that is in or getting out of a relationship. They will not be ready to jump into another one, especially when they are so emotionally involve with that relationship. They need time to heal. Second, never be friends with someone you want to date. It's the wrong way to get a GF. When you meet someone you like you ask them out. If they say no or give you lame ass excuses then you just saved yourself months of heartache.

I think you should just move on. A guy such as yourself and who claims to have it all, shouldn't find it hard and to go out and meet someone else and a girl who would appreciate him and wouldn't use him.

I can understand that you helped her/want to help, but her problems are just that, 'her problems' and they are not yours to worry about or deal with. You helped her once and seems like she threw your help, back into your face. I can understand why you would feel betrayed.

He hit her and she's obviously forgiven him and gone back to him. Some people never learn/learn the hard way.

Poor you :(
You've done all you could have done. You can't be her guardian angel, especially after what she has done. She has her own brain, she makes her own choices. You can't fix her brain and you shouldn't be responsible for her bad choices.
Good luck with moving on.

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think you should just move on. A guy such as yourself and who claims to have it all, shouldn't find it hard and to go out and meet someone else and a girl who would appreciate him and wouldn't use him.

I can understand that you helped her/want to help, but her problems are just that, 'her problems' and they are not yours to worry about or deal with. You helped her once and seems like she threw your help, back into your face. I can understand why you would feel betrayed.

He hit her and she's obviously forgiven him and gone back to him. Some people never learn/learn the hard way.

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meeting other women isnt really the problem, i dont think i have it all haha just some of my friend think that way.i guess my previous relationships went rather smoothly even with the break up. So this came as a shock.

this time it just hurts like hell :upset: my heart overwrote my brain i just got sucked into it...even though i only spent 3month with her it felt like 3yrs. it would take awhile to date again. i guess if she had told me the truth rather me finding out my self it wouldn't hurt so much and it would be closure. i kept blaming my self for what happened over the pass month, its eating me inside out. the main problem i have is jumping over the fact that she doesnt even want to be friends after all i did. she would rather choose a physically inferior male whos financially insecure, controlling, violent, over me...maybe because her ex is 10yrs 11yrs older then us who had much more experiences with women?

ps. appreciate all the comments! i think my friends are sick of hearing me complaining after a month now...so its good to hear some more opinions on the matter.

Forget her completely and find someone worth your time.