New here and I need opinions and advice
Hello everyone, I have decided to register for an account here with the hopes of getting some advice or opinions on the situation I am in.
First of all, I am going to try to just sum it all up. At least the part that I think matters the most to me right now.
I am in a 2 1/2 year relationship with my fiance. We have a daughter together.
In almost every relationship I have had in the past I have pretty much ruined by allowing myself to be taken for granted. I am a controlling person in the sense that I like (not consciously) things to be my way.
This is a terrible thing in a relationship because I tend to try to control the people I am with. I get very insecure and jealous. It isn't how I want to be. I want to be able to be in a healthy relationship the kind where we both have our space and are able to be ourselves without having to worry about the other breathing down our throats or making us feel uncomfortable by being ourselves. The problem is, is that I have boosted his self confidence by being insecure and jealous and in the process have gotten myself in this horrible depressing rut because my whole life is consumed by what is he doing, who is he talking to, where'd he really go, things like that. I don't know if too much damage has been done by my being this way, or if the damage with a lot of changing could be repaired.
This is eating at me and I don't know what to do, how to be different, how to just relax and be happy.
My life is perfect and I'm happy but this is the one thing holding me back. I want to feel good and be able to be happy without worrying myself twenty four hours a day about him.
Do you believe that this type of damage can be fixed? if so, how?
Also, any suggestions on how to change? I've gone to so many counselors and I just feel like they never conclude with anything. I suppose it's their job to keep me coming, but really I need some answers. Thank you.