Feeling ugly and totally worthless.
I'm 19 years old and I was abandoned by my parents when I was a baby (I was raised by my maternal grandma). My dad was abusive towards my mom and my dad was in jail a lot. I came across a letter my dad had written to my mom and it said he loved my mom more than my siblings and I. It really hurt coming across that letter after everything I've being going through with relationships.
I was rejected a couple of months ago by a guy I'd never seen before in person. He never called or texted. Whenever he did call or text it was very short and scripted. He lied to me by saying he got me a dress and that he'd sent it by UPS but it never came. He yelled at me for calling 8 times in a row and picked up the 9th time and yelled DON'T GO CRAZY and then we talked for less than a minutes and he said bye. When he went more than a week without calling or texting I texted him and said I was done. He never called or texted for a few months and then he randomly texted saying he'd changed his number. At first I didn't know who it was and I texted saying who's this? Then I got a text saying it was Tom from Florida. I said why are you texting me? He said cause we're friends. I was totally confused. The last text I'd sent him was a mean one with curse words. I gave in and started texting him and he was still the same. He would text then he'd stop for awhile and this time I think it was for good. I did send him a letter with my school senior pictures, when we werefirst talking. I don't know if maybe I wasn't that cute or maybe I was a bore. After that first rejection I've ben dwelling on it everyday since (which has been a year ago). I really feel like I don't matter and that I'm ugly, different from the rest of girls and uncool.
Then: I called at the wrong time when I was checking up on my job application at Pizza Hut. This young guy picked up the phone and was like Call back around 2 and 4pm we're busy and then he hung up. I called during lunchtime. There must b something wrong w/ me.
