I'm such a wuss!!!

I want to tell P that I love him...I really really do. And I know I love him. But part of me is afraid that he doesn't want to hear it. There's nothing to suggest that he doesn't, I think its my own insecurities acting against me - and I'm afraid of potentially ruining what we have going at the moment. Generally I speak my mind, and so many times lately I've wanted to blurt it out, and I've just held it in.

Its pretty irrational really - he's just not the type to turn around and hurt me, everything he says and everything he does shows me that he at least cares quite a bit. Its just stupid.

Why can't I say it?

I've never been first to say it to any male...its nerve wracking just thinking about it. The thought of it terrifies me and fills me with excitement at the same time.

We've been together nearly 5 months, and I've been holding it in about a month now....maybe I just need to get over it and just blurt it out next time I feel it.

Hmm....

Wait until he says it first.

Or just tell him like an adult. Why wait for him to say it, that's childish. You don't have to blurt it out, you're afraid he won't reciprocate the feelings back to you, that's why you don't wanna be the first to say it.

Yeah I know waiting for him to say it is childish - I know a lot of couples never say those words if they don't mean it and ultimately end up losing each other.

On some level I'm afraid he won't reciprocate, but at the same time, part of me tells my head it doesn't matter if he doesn't as I'm being true to myself and my own feelings if I do tell him. I know if he runs a mile then he isn't worth my love...but I don't want to potentially spoil something thats so great at the moment.

Sigh.

I would probably wait for him as I couldn't deal with him possibly not feeling the same. Is he an initiator? If he is, then he shouldn't have a problem bringing up the conversation or telling you that he loves you. Are you guys exclusive?

I feel ya. It sucks feeling bottled up. I wish things weren't so complicated when it comes to love. It really doesn't have to be, but people make it that way.