Bottling things up inside?
Hi again Loverforum community!
I have posted about a problem related to this relationship before. In fact , a lot has happened. You can read t he past post if you want but it is
pretty long. In short, I had insecurities and controlled my girlfriend as well as rushed things with her. we were together for two years. Afterwards she decided to break up with me because she was fed up. I believe she reacted as many person that would be controlled: she rebelled. For the past 2
months she has and we finally started dating again 2 weeks ago. I have been around and helped her even though she went to other guys, and all. I
didn't just walk away and stop paying for the appartment. Also, I have been seeing a councellor and I have an easier time controlling my impulsivity ( I think before I say something)
Now here's my problem. I love the girl, and I do love her unconditionally. Before I have controlled her on what she wears, her looking at other guys, what she wanted, etc.... However, at this point, she's gone on a 2 weeks trip in Arizona. I really don't mind a trust her. But there are two things that are coming up and bothering me.... 1) She is starting to smoke weed. However I have ALWAYS TOLD myself i would never date someone who smokes. I tell myself : " She's in Arizona and its once...". She smoke ONCE while we were broken up and she said she wouldn't do it again because she didn't like it. Another thing is that when I met her 2 years ago, she dumped a guy because he was smoking weed too much and told me she
would never smoke. TONIGHT, I was on cam with her and she starts smoking on the webcam. I mean she knows I hate smoking! Its just a
straight up insult to me. 2) I told her not to look at guys before, and fine it was wrong its not like she's cheating on me ( well celebrities too i was
like that.). I'm fine if she looks at time but she keeps a folder of "husband" pictures on her phone and just post random picture online just saying
"he is SO hot". I just feel like it is kinda inconsiderate when she tells me " I love you!" , " I MISS YOU!"
So there is my problem and I don't know how to go about it. I love the girl and want to stay with her. I have been told that something is anormalonce it gets in the way of your relationships with others and this is getting in our way ( ESPECIALLY the weed). Also I can't just tell her I don't like
her because of her scars from before. I feel as if I talk to her and tell her " you know smoking bothers me" will make her think I'm controlling. In the past I started controlling her with one thing and it took a ripple effect.
Finally, this is hurting me really badly. I mean if I break up with her I will have regrets because I didn't gave her a chance. However, if i stay with
her I will just have to stay and give a fake smile everyday! I really feel helpless with no escape.
Any advice ? :S
Thank you guys.