lacking social skills...that's a problem
Maybe I am a shy person, I have a high ego and low self-esteem, you might wonder "wait, how's that possible?" well, I am paranoid about what others thinks of me, I NEVER took the initiative to approach a female, but whenever they approaches me with affection, i find it difficult to carry out the conversation, my mind went blank and i constantky thinks to myself: i've got to get out of this before i make a fool out of myself. infact, i feel more comfortable when there's a third person in my conversasion in this way the "akward silence" could be avoided.
So here i am, a 22 yrs old virgin... feeling lonely and depressed lately, i've lost motivation for everything, my daily routine turned me into a walking dead! school->study->gym->bed->repeat. i don't even watch TV or play videos anymore, not to mention my social life is in a subzero level... oddly, those akward experience actually made me feel good about myself momentarily, knowing there are girls out there who actually has feelings for me. what comes next is even worse! I recently received a phone call from my mother, i understood from our conversation that she thinks i am gay and expressed her "openess" about me getting a boyfriend...
Last week when I took bus to school, a beautiful girl from my class came up to me and we chatted for about half hour, she made compliments to things i said and she laughed for no reason on things that i don't even consider funny...at the end she asked me what am I doing this weekend, and she told me she's going to study and probably go to a party... I instantly replied without thinking:"I'm not much of a party type...."...well, and you know how this ends :(
sorry for my sluggish english
