After first major sexual experience together girlfriend is acting oddly.

My girlfriend and I had our first major sexual experience last weekend. we didn't have full on sex but we did everything else. Before now it was just making out and and some breast stuff.

Because of her upbringing, this is pretty new to her. After this night we spent almost the next 2 days straight together (not just sitting in bed though) til monday afternoon. And she says she feels closer than ever before, that no one has made her feel that way and that she is falling in love with me. I stopped by and saw her for an hour yesterday before work.

I was at work and we were chatting through text and she out of nowhere says
"She feels like everything is different" I asked why and she said "I feel like now that we have done that, alot of the mystery excitement and unknown is gone"
I responded by saying that I understand that feeling but on the flipside now that we have kind of let ourselves bear that to each other it makes me feel more comfortable and intimate knowing she is satisfied with me sexually and me her. So she said "So you feel the same"
I said yeah, maybe a little but I know that it's just because all of the wondering how you were sexually as gone so the anticipation of it is gone but replaced with a relaxed and intimate feeling.
Then she says
"You are so wonderful, I love spending time with you. I think we both know we need some time apart. I can feel you getting tired of me. We should cancel our plans tomorrow"
I asked why she thinks she can tell I am getting tired of her. because honestly, I am feeling closer and wanting to be with her more than I ever have at this point. Then she said
"You admitted it. You are doing everything right but it's normal to feel tired of the other person at this point in the relationship because things are less intense"
It kind of took me back and has had me stewing because I don't understand, I didn't admit to that, I am not tired of her, I feel like my desire to spend time with her is more intense than it has ever been.
Then she went to bed then she texted me when she woke up saying
"Good morning honey, I am going to not text or call you today because I know you need a break, but I want you to know I care about you, I'll talk to you tomorrow" I then said "Wait, babe, I feel like I was misunderstood, can I talk to you for a sec" And she said "How about tomorrow? Bye babe, have a wonderful day"

I am confused and needed to just get it off my mind. any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks

I understand that she is needing some space and time. I have seen it in many past relationships, I have never fully understood it because I don't feel that need for space and time but I am happy to work with it when needed. I guess it just feels odd that she is trying to make it seem like I am the one needing it in order to get it. Why won't she just come out and say she needs the time?

A weird one, this.

Has she got self-esteem issues at all or is she pretty confident in herself, stable life, etc? Do you think you may've pressured her into anything at all, whether intentionally or not?

How old are you and how long've you been dating? Maybe after the fact, looking back, she feels like things've progressed too quickly and it's too serious all of a sudden? Perhaps as you've said it has got something to do with the way she was raised. Could be some misplaced sense of guilt on account of that.

OK, I guess that info is pertinent. She does have some self esteem problems from time to time, but nothing too extreme. She does not seem to be any worse than any other girls I have dated as far as that goes. I didn't pressure her. In fact, she says she feels like she seduced me and she feels guilty a little. she said she felt like a slut a little at first. Which I told her to please not say, I didn't think of her that way at all.

We have been dating $ months. She is 22 I am 26.

She was raised in a religious family where anything sexual outside of marriage was a no no, but in a rebellious stage when she was 18 she hooked up with a few guys and gave head. And she was somewhat physically involved with another boyfriend. She told me I was the first guy she let touch her though. She had a strictly give never receive attitude before but with me she felt cared about, comfortable enough and close enough to trust me with it. Over the next two days she told me over and over that she wanted me to know how special it was that she let me put her fingers inside her and that I am the first person aside from herself that she has let touch her and bring her to climax.
I have assured her that I feel lucky honored and all.

I guess, it's more related to the sexual thing than I was thinking. I think in alot of ways, that whole experience was alot newer, more intense and emotional for her than it was for me.

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Originally Posted by tacticalcraptic [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She had a strictly give never receive attitude

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I knew a girl aged 22 who was the exact same way. She was always all over me and absolutely chuffed to bits about it. But she would never let me go below her waist. I genuinely wanted to as it only seemed fair, but she stopped me every time. She would go from happy and fun to serious in a second. Even for a while after we slept together that was still the case. I wanted to go down on her, anything at all really, though for some reason she was never comfortable with it. We showered together once but that too brought about the same reaction.

In her case, I know it was partially/mostly a self-esteem issue. Her parents did quite a number on her. She had dated other people before me and wasn't at all fussy about getting a guy off, but had only slept with one guy one time before me. But that happened when she went away for the summer and she was the same way from when I first met her to after.

Could be that, could be something else, could be more.

how close are you guys? She prob is just a little freaked out a bit. If she is that religious and stuff I guess that is understandable. In her eyes what you guys did was completely against everything she was about (if she IS that religious). I bet she has just been thinking about it A LOT and she needs some time to kinda figure stuff out in her head. I would DEFIANTLY make sure she knows you don't feel like the way she thinks you feel... that might be eating at her brain a little when she just took what you said the wrong way. Do you love her? I would make sure she knows that and that what you guys did was special. Give her the day.... but I would not give her longer then that to start to think "what ifs" or anything like that. She obviously is still thinking about u because she texted you that she wasn't going to txt you... which is kinda hypocritical. give her 24 hours and then make sure she knows how you really feel, and that you love her and everything. She is prob scared/freaked a bit.

She texted me while I was in class saying "I have been thinking alot I want to talk to you after I finish work and you finish class." Then she continued to text several long texts that stated "You shake up my world. I care so much about you that it's hard for me to think straight sometimes. I feel like I need a break from how intensely I feel for you but when I try to do that my mind lingers on you. I am scared because I have never let someone else have such a big effect on my life and sometimes it scares me. I often can't help thinking of my future with you in it. Sometimes I need a minute to separate myself from you and see myself as my own person. I think we should un-cancel our plans."

So I guess things are good, I dunno, anytime someone pulls away from me like that it makes me feel funny. it always has.

I think she is taking her time to consolidate her feelings towards you. It's actually a good thing. In my honest opinion, giving her space to think about it gives her the time to discuss it with close friends, and consolidating your relationship. Reassure her that your love is genuine and that you think of her. Make her feel loved and that you're patient. Anytime when a girl has you on her mind, all the time as to have her text you in long texts, that's good. Be patient, and wait it out.

In my experience, girls generally take longer to make a decision because they are weighing all aspects of the relationship and deciding whether or not to take the next step. In scientific research, females are generally more prone to looking at the entire picture while men, looks at subject more goal oriented (partial tunnel vision?); hence, the buyer's remorse trait that many girls possess. I personally do not think you need to worry. From what i read, she's not pulling away, but rather, taking in the picture to make the decision to transition into the next step.

Tim

She's insecure.

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Originally Posted by tacticalcraptic [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I didn't pressure her. In fact, she says she feels like she seduced me and she feels guilty a little. ......... I think in alot of ways, that whole experience was alot newer, more intense and emotional for her than it was for me.

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Tacticalcraptic-----She's definitely into you. However, she feels guilty about her own choices. That's why she gave that excuse and said, "Talk to you tomorrow".