Meeting a girl tomorrow, but unexpected message from her

Me (23 male) her (23 female)

There's a girl that I've been talking to for a few weeks on social media and started to text her about a week ago. Just to keep things short, she said what she thought about me and I told her what I thought about her and we're both looking to eventually have a serious committed relationship. Let's just say we both are attracted to eachother and she wants to do something this weekend.


We have plans meeting tomorrow and she messaged me this tonight: "I just think I should tell you this before anything happens. There's a guy I've been seeing since February kind of as a friends with benefits type of thing and not sure if it's going anywhere but I do see him regularly. I don't know if this changes your opinion of me but I wanted to be out there open about this."


I said like,... "okay. it really just depends, what were you expecting between us this whole time?"


She said "i know you were looking for something serious and so am I. Obviously if we meet and hit it off, I would cut off anyone else. I'm just sort of afraid of commitment right now because of my past experiences"


Recap: Without me really saying much, she's the one telling me how "Good I look" and giving me her number to text her without me even asking for it. I didn't really initiate much at all, she started it all which really has this whole thing feeling weird.


What the hell is this? I don't even know what to feel, I kind of feel like if I see her I won't even be happy at all after hearing this and kind of pissy inside. To be honest, I'm not even shocked the slightest by these girls anymore. Just not sure If I should even waste my time getting invested in something like this. It just feels weird she'd be doing this with a guy for how many months and seeing him all the time yet wants to basically "Try me out" or something while knowing this the entire time. Idk if that's what you're getting also from this. Thanks!

to me it also seems like she wants to try you out. She said she also wanted a serious relationship, weird that she mentioned that she is afraid of commitment at the same time. And she has been seeing this other guy for all these months without it going anywhere and she isn't sure if it will ever. I wonder why doesn't it go anywhere - is it because he doesn't want to or she doesn't want to. What I think is that maybe she was kind of hoping it would go somewhere and it just doesn't for so long so she started looking for other options. So basically at this point she is keeping her options I think, still seeing the other one - in case it turns out into something and also wants to see you in case that can turn out into something...
I'd suggest you go meet her - I mean you never know, you might hit it of and it can turn out to be a great relationship:] But just don't take it too seriously for now and don't stress so much about it.

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Originally Posted by lovemenot [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

to me it also seems like she wants to try you out. She said she also wanted a serious relationship, weird that she mentioned that she is afraid of commitment at the same time. And she has been seeing this other guy for all these months without it going anywhere and she isn't sure if it will ever. I wonder why doesn't it go anywhere - is it because he doesn't want to or she doesn't want to. What I think is that maybe she was kind of hoping it would go somewhere and it just doesn't for so long so she started looking for other options. So basically at this point she is keeping her options I think, still seeing the other one - in case it turns out into something and also wants to see you in case that can turn out into something...
I'd suggest you go meet her - I mean you never know, you might hit it of and it can turn out to be a great relationship:] But just don't take it too seriously for now and don't stress so much about it.

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Thank you very much, what you said is the exact way I'm thinking. I get people sleep with other people inbetween looking for an actual relationship...hell I've done it myself. Just nobody knows what message shes trying to get across to me by telling me this because nobody ever does this haha.

I will be going out with her 100% and I'm leaving my feelings at the door. I want to see what she is really about and go from there.

She still seems very interested and talking to me all the time so...who knows. I'll give it a shot and see. No harm done

I like when women say things like that. It shows that she's willing to be upfront and honest. Naturally I just assume every woman I see is seeing other men as well. And for me, if another good opportunity comes to me ill do the same.

The best thing is to have a care free attitude towards it. You need to love in a way that the other person feels free.

I don't even bring up relationship talk, I let her do it.

I would meet girl only if she stopped see her FWB for me.

What that girl did is what I personally would have done to anyone I liked enough.

She's telling you the truth because she wants to be honest with you and not start the relationship on a lie.

If it's a deal breaker, she'd rather you just made the decision to not see her then and there rather than waiting further down the line.

What do you want?

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Originally Posted by psot2 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What that girl did is what I personally would have done to anyone I liked enough.

She's telling you the truth because she wants to be honest with you and not start the relationship on a lie.

If it's a deal breaker, she'd rather you just made the decision to not see her then and there rather than waiting further down the line.

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Really interesting way of looking at it. I've been getting a boat load of different answers from both men and women. I'm going to go out with her simply out of curiosity and to see what is really up IN PERSON. If she actually doesn't want the other guy in a relationship sense and is actually looking for someone different, like me, i'd be willing to see where we end up. Otherwise, I have plenty of other dates ready to go if this is just turns out bad.

OK, being honest is a point for her. Now what you need to ask yourself is "do I want to be with someone that is not 100% available" no matter how she describes it, that's the bottom line. It seems like she's playing it "safe" for herself. I don't think she is ready for something serious, from what you mentioned. A alternative would be is for you to meet her IF you still want to but take it slow & she how she treats you......see where it goes from there..... Be cautious of her, something just don't seen right

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Originally Posted by sheaintme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

OK, being honest is a point for her. Now what you need to ask yourself is "do I want to be with someone that is not 100% available" no matter how she describes it, that's the bottom line. It seems like she's playing it "safe" for herself. I don't think she is ready for something serious, from what you mentioned. A alternative would be is for you to meet her IF you still want to but take it slow & she how she treats you......see where it goes from there..... Be cautious of her, something just don't seen right

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Absolutely cautious. I'm not 100% sold on this or anything, but want to at least give it a chance and giving her benefit of the doubt

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Originally Posted by Braytc [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Absolutely cautious. I'm not 100% sold on this or anything, but want to at least give it a chance and giving her benefit of the doubt

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so if you know that, i personally dont see your problem?
what keeps you from going ahead and just doing it?

I'm not giving this girl any points for honesty. To me, if she were truly honest and sincere, she would have opened up with that in the beginning. People love to use the "I'm afraid of commitment because of my past" line. It certainly doesn't hurt to meet her, but you said the two of you discussed being serious. I don't think she is "serious" material. She has already shown you her lack of integrity. Look at it this way, you are searching for something special. Would YOU continue to string someone along sexually while doing so? You know what they say..when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

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Originally Posted by Snow White [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm not giving this girl any points for honesty. To me, if she were truly honest and sincere, she would have opened up with that in the beginning. People love to use the "I'm afraid of commitment because of my past" line. It certainly doesn't hurt to meet her, but you said the two of you discussed being serious. I don't think she is "serious" material. She has already shown you her lack of integrity. Look at it this way, you are searching for something special. Would YOU continue to string someone along sexually while doing so? You know what they say..when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

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I'll absolutely take what you're saying with me. I'm going to meet her but my caution is very high. Unless she shows me something completely sincere, I won't let it hurt me.