Cheated on my boyfriend whilst messed up on drugs and alcohol

While i ended up getting completely wrecked at a concert with a friend. We went to a club and then a party where I was way beyond my limit of what ive ever drank, and had taken an ecstacy pill. I honestly cannot remembee my night at all and I know cheaters use that as an excuse but I genuinely cannot remember anything. My friend told me in the morning that i had ended up kissing a guy at the party (no more than that) I wouldnt have even known this had she not told me and i couldnt remember the guy or what he looked like. Im completely heartbroken by my behaviour and apalled at myself, i hate cheating and i know i would never ever have done this if i wasnt completely out of control of my actions. Others have told me i could barely even speak that night. The guilt of it is eating away at me but i know it will be the end of our relationship if i tell my boyfriend as we've discussed what we do if the other cheated and he said he would end things immediately. It seems so unfair that this thing i cant even remember doing wikl cause me to lose all my friends and boyfriend over one stupid mistake. Do you think it is worth telling him or should i just learn never to get into that state again and not ruin our love. I know i will never ever cheat again. I cant stop crying about it and i just dont want to lose him because i love him so much. Please dont judge me.

tell him straight up how you feel and the truth, maybe in a note even while sitting next to him in person cause idk if he would be willing to listen to your whole story or if u will be able to get all your points out right. That's rough, you can only blame yourself though for getting that messed up, even though you didn't mean to do it and you were not yourself, the fact is u still did and u need to ask yourself this. do u want to spend the rest of this relationship knowing it's a lie? i know if i cheated i'd have to fess up cause the guilt would eat me up too much, i also know people who have cheated back when i was in college and were okay with keeping it a secret, i think they are scum bags but that's besides the point, i personally would want true love not a relationship where we have lies

Well if you think it helps him to know then tell him
If you just want to get rid of your burden I would see no need telling him.

I'd for sure tell him how much you love him, even if you are sometimes stupid.

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And make sure you just do not get wasted so much any more

Hmm..that's a tough one and something I have had conversations about in the past. First, you need some type of help if you have a drinking and/or drug problem. Speaking from experience, pretty anything I have regretted doing, I have done while I was drunk. It's a poor excuse so you have to figure what your limits are and don't put yourself in those situations anymore. As far as telling him, is it just to make yourself feel better? Maybe I'm a "scum bag" but I just wouldn't want to break his heart over a drunken mistake. To be honest, if my husband did something like that, I don't think I would want to know. Of course, you better be damn sure that there would be no way he could find out from someone else and make sure it never happens again.

I wouldn't tell him directly you kissed another man while high and drunk. Why didn't your friend watch out for you and keep you off other men and other men off you while not in control. You could have been raped, you never know and your friends weren't there to support you way they should have. Hope if you don't tell that friend doesn't get vindictive and tell on you. How does your friend know that the guy wasn't kissing you and you were pushing him off he resisting and saying no? Watch your drinks when out from now on and go with friends who have your back.

it is obviously that you should take drugs in future, if realy can't remember than you used a bit too much.

Just a thought: your friends are not responsible for your shit. And the best protection they can give you is letting you **** up really hard. Best way to learn not to do stupid shit