Printable View
Is that ok to love someone without expecting any love in return?
I mean, I wish I could find out what exactly does she feel/think about me and what does go through her mind each time we meet/talk
but I never gave too much thought to it so I dont know O.o
It's okay to "want", but you should never be coming from a place of "need"
I want this to work out, but I don't need this to work out.
It's about holding self respect.
The truth is it doesn't matter what she thinks, if she isn't expressing the type of actual interest back that i want and isn't coming on dates with me.
I'm looking for dates elsewhere.
Doesn't mean I'll be a dick to her, or that I wouldn't want things to work out between us, but I just know how to be rational.
I don't wait around for women to change their minds about things.
And. In the end, always look at a person's actions, not just at what they say. Talk is cheap.
Personally, I don't think a person can love a person they've never been involved with romantically. Why? Because you have never been in a lovers position with them before, you dont know how they their treat their lovers or what it feels like to be in that position with them. You can observe it from the outside, but you really don't know the whole picture unless you're there. I think it's irrational thinking. A person's heart should be earned, not given away so easily.
Think about it. Ever spit up your feelings on a woman you were never that romantically serious with? How'd that go?
Likely not good. Even with women im just casually dating. I just generally avoid overdoing that stuff, there are some key moments like when she doubts where i stand though where I feel a need to do it moreso ("I didn't think you were interested" "Of course I was interested in you. I wouldnt spend all this time planning these dates out for us if I wasn't") and generally instead mirror what women give me.
You would have to give us a lot more detail for us to comment with any kind of accuracy to your specific case. Though, GLYC definitely offered some great advice with which I happen to agree.
Personally, I don't think "is it okay" is really the right question. Sure, technically it is "okay" so long as nobody gets hurt as result. However, I think there are a lot more important questions. For example, do you like her merely as a friend, or do you think you could like her as more? You can love somebody as a friend if you know them well enough, but I agree with GLYC that you can't truly love somebody (as in love with them kind of love) without first actually being in a relationship with them. Believe me, I understand it can FEEL like love, but at that point it is more you are in love with an idea than you are with a specific person.
Could turn out that person DOES live up to the idea, maybe even surpasses it... but you don't know that until you know them better and in a romantic setting. Now, based on what little you shared, I'm assuming you are romantically interested in this gal. So, my next question would be do you know if she is single? If she's not single, then you would really be much better to move on and forget any chance of being more to her than just a friend. Maybe things could change down the road, but if she's in a relationship, it is wrong to mess with that. If she is single, or you don't know whether or not she's single.... then why not just try asking her out?
I mean, believe me, I of all people know that is so much easier said than done. But, even if it turned out she was not interested, you'd be much better off knowing than to be left wondering what if. ...Yet imagine if it turned out she WAS interested. Anyway.... again, you didn't give us much to go by here, so it is hard to give anything more than just generic advice. Hopefully our advice is helpful to your specific situation. Either way, if you are comfortable offer more specific details, that may better help us to give more specific advice.