Ex gf contacted me. I still have feelings

my girlfriend ended our 18 month relationship. We are in our 30s. She is depressed and said she needs to try fix herself without having the pressure of a relationship and doesnt want to feel hurried into being 'well'. She is going to go to counselling. She has been before a few years ago. She said there is alot of things from the past she needs to face.
We both told each other how special we are to each other. We basically cried and hugged for an hour. She said she would rather end il the relationship now on good terms then later on bad terms.
I said I will respect her space but I wish things could be different.
I feel so bad for her facing this. She has told 1 or 2 close friends.

Its now 10 months since the break up. I thought i was finally moving on.

Recently I had a bereavement in the family.
My ex contacted me and sent a couple of supportive messages over a few days.
I thanked her and didnt ask her anything about herself. She sent a card a week later.

This has made me think about her again.
Help

That was kind and respectful of her, but I think it was simply that. She didn't mention anything about herself or how she is getting along, did she? Of course you are going to think of her, but she did end the relationship and it has been almost a year.

Well, we don't know the actual story about the entire situation. She left because she had issues and said she needed to work on them which is smart. Relationships really are about having fun and sharing your completeness with another person (which she stated she lacked due to her depression). I like the idea of ending on good terms.

I'm not sure if there's more to this whole situation or not, and what all contributed to the breakup.

Based on this information.
She was crying while ending things, which is a good sign, it means she has emotions towards you. She's probably questioning if it's the right move deep down.
(Beware the cold hearted woman, because she's thought it over for a while and she's over it, and she isnt likely ever coming back)

You did all the could. You said, hey, this isn't what I want, I want to work things out, but if you dont, I guess that's just the way it is.
Which was the right move. Never try to make somebody stay or change their mind, never plead or beg, but be authentic in these situations (but try your best not to cry, be her man and be her mountain), you two had good times together and she meant a lot to you.

With the supportive messages/card.
You said thanks for everything. I don't know if there's really anything else to do in this situation, I would just focus on your family.

There's a chance she may have just done it to be comforting and nice, afterall you both did end on good terms and had some fun times together.
Which is what I think you should assume for the time being.

However. I'm going to tell you a secret. Women will do stuff all the time to test the waters. They will see how you react towards their reappearance. Guys get confused when women they've had history with previously randomly say "Hey how are you" or wish them Happy Groundhogs Day or whatever. It seems so out of the blue. But in reality, they've been thinking about you. It shows there's likely some interest left. When women start doing that, I would suggest to initiate something about meeting up/catching up over drinks while they're talking to you.

Think about it. How many women from your past that you currently have zero romantic interest in have you just randomly hit up again?
Maybe you have. But for the most part, probably not.

Honestly, if she's really interested, I can guarantee she's going to reach out in the near future. This would be a pretty vague move.
And for the time being, with the family thing going on, I don't think it would be appropriate to suggest more.
She will understand this if she truly wants you again and like I said, she will reach out again.

So with Snows comment about it being almost a year. I agree, typically when people reach out again, its going to be in that 1-6 month range.
If time goes past a year, I think there's a pretty solid chance you will never hear from them again. But hey, it can and does happen. I've had people do that to me before. And I've seen it happen to others as well.
Not trying to get people amped up on that thought "SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S A CHANCE", since after a year contact is pretty rare. Even if a person sort of wants to reach out again, they may feel like things are just better left laying there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snow White [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That was kind and respectful of her, but I think it was simply that. She didn't mention anything about herself or how she is getting along, did she? Of course you are going to think of her, but she did end the relationship and it has been almost a year.

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Yea i am surprised by myself. I thought i was getting over it. Back at day one nearly now.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, we don't know the actual story about the entire situation. She left because she had issues and said she needed to work on them which is smart. Relationships really are about having fun and sharing your completeness with another person (which she stated she lacked due to her depression). I like the idea of ending on good terms.

I'm not sure if there's more to this whole situation or not, and what all contributed to the breakup.

Based on this information.
She was crying while ending things, which is a good sign, it means she has emotions towards you. She's probably questioning if it's the right move deep down.
(Beware the cold hearted woman, because she's thought it over for a while and she's over it, and she isnt likely ever coming back)

You did all the could. You said, hey, this isn't what I want, I want to work things out, but if you dont, I guess that's just the way it is.
Which was the right move. Never try to make somebody stay or change their mind, never plead or beg, but be authentic in these situations (but try your best not to cry, be her man and be her mountain), you two had good times together and she meant a lot to you.

With the supportive messages/card.
You said thanks for everything. I don't know if there's really anything else to do in this situation, I would just focus on your family.

There's a chance she may have just done it to be comforting and nice, afterall you both did end on good terms and had some fun times together.
Which is what I think you should assume for the time being.

However. I'm going to tell you a secret. Women will do stuff all the time to test the waters. They will see how you react towards their reappearance. Guys get confused when women they've had history with previously randomly say "Hey how are you" or wish them Happy Groundhogs Day or whatever. It seems so out of the blue. But in reality, they've been thinking about you. It shows there's likely some interest left. When women start doing that, I would suggest to initiate something about meeting up/catching up over drinks while they're talking to you.

Think about it. How many women from your past that you currently have zero romantic interest in have you just randomly hit up again?
Maybe you have. But for the most part, probably not.

Honestly, if she's really interested, I can guarantee she's going to reach out in the near future. This would be a pretty vague move.
And for the time being, with the family thing going on, I don't think it would be appropriate to suggest more.
She will understand this if she truly wants you again and like I said, she will reach out again.

So with Snows comment about it being almost a year. I agree, typically when people reach out again, its going to be in that 1-6 month range.
If time goes past a year, I think there's a pretty solid chance you will never hear from them again. But hey, it can and does happen. I've had people do that to me before. And I've seen it happen to others as well.
Not trying to get people amped up on that thought "SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S A CHANCE", since after a year contact is pretty rare. Even if a person sort of wants to reach out again, they may feel like things are just better left laying there.

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I would love her to reach out. But i guess i am best not contacting her.
Surprised at how much I am missing her.

This can trigger old feelings making us feel under the bush because we want what we used to have, but you also need to ask yourself if going back would be the best thing. Also, in my opinion as a girl is was very respectful for her to send those messages because I would do the same to an ex because they were still apart of my life for a significant amount of time, but doesn't mean I still have feelings for them. She did end it for a reason in the first place and there was a reasoning for everything. It sounds harsh, but if she truly loved and cared she would be going back to you and not you going back to her.

still want to contact her.
But i am remaining NC
thinking about her alot the last few weeks